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    Quotable Quotes

    I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department…
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    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Getting To Heaven

    The pastor was talking to a group of young children about believing in Jesus and going to…
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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…
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    Abstract Noun

    "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch…
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    Tendjewberrymud

    Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... Read…
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    Potato Problem

    Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his…
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    Amazing Golf Ball

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a salesman runs up to him,…
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    Chose Your Weapon

    Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn…
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    Not Going to Church

    One Sunday morning, a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to…
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    Golden Bear Answer

    A reporter was interviewing Jack Nicklaus. He said, "Jack, you are spectacular, your name…
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    Computer Dating

    A hopeful suitor dropped into a computer-dating center and registered his qualifications.…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Laundry Comments

    A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating…
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    Oversensitive Reply

    I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of…

It was a difficult subject to bring before his aged mother, but John felt that he must: "Mom, you're no longer a spring chicken and you do need to think ahead of what'll happen in the future. Why don't we make arrangements about when...you know...when...you pass on?"

The mother didn't say anything, just sat there staring ahead.

"I mean, Mom, like...how do you want to finally go? Do you want to be buried? Cremated?"

There was yet another long pause. Then the mother looked up and said, "Son, why don't you surprise me?"

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