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More Jokes

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    What is This?

    A Rabbi, a Priest and a Salvation Army pastor walk into a bar.The bartender says to them,…
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    Coast Guard Keeping

    My daughter Michelle is the commander of a Coast Guard Cutter. When she gave my husband…
  • paramedic

    Awareness Test

    Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented.…
  • phone help

    IAMS Hotline

    The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
  • pictures of solar eclipse

    Eclipse Memos

    Memo from Director General to Manager: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse…
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    Signs that the Starship Enterprise is Nearing the End of It's Warranty

    - Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck…
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    Reunion Pride

    My wife and I were at my high school reunion.As I looked around, I noticed the other men…
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    Owed to Spell Checquer

    OWED TO SPELL CHECQUER Eye halve a spelling chequerIt came with my pea seaIt plainly…
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    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
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    Well Done

    John was furious when his steak arrived too rare."Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear…
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    The Lord's Prayer - Sort of

    A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at…
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    Three-Sixty 727

    The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a…
  • picture of elderly couple

    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
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    No Matter What

    Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they…
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    Another Virus Warning

    ***-- VIRUS WARNING --***Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is…
Stacey makes a new friend at school and invites her home for the first time.  Stacey excuses herself to fetch her Mom and introduce her new friend.  As her friend is standing in the living room next to the fireplace, she picks up the attractive vase on the mantle.

When Stacey returns with her mother, her friend is staring curiously into the vase.  "Oh, those are my father's ashes," Stacey informs her new friend.  However, this startles her so that she drops the vase with a <gasp!> -- ashes and broken vase scattering all around.

After turning three shades of red she stammers out, "Oh, no...  I'm, oh!... I, can't...  didn't mean to.."

"It's OK dear," the mother says.  "The vase was just from Wal- Mart."

The new friend catches her breath enough to say, "But...  but your husband's ashes..."

"Well," the mother says, "looks like he'll just have to get off his lazy butt and get the ashtray from the kitchen from now on!"
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