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    Conductor Comment Comeback

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    Phrases for When you Receive Unwanted Gifts

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    Moth Madness

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    Taxi Craze

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    Passing Time

    My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day…
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    Moving Labels

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
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    Goober Compensation

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Weddings and Funerals

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling…
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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    Deputy Goober

    The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Goober - who was not exactly the sharpest…
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    Artist's Sketch

    Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got…
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    Birth Warp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
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    Army Drab

    My husband wore his Army uniform with pride. One day, coming home from the base and…
  • church in the country

    Save Me a Seat

    A friend of mine, and her husband, were on vacation. They visited a church on Sunday. My…

new years_eveThis year, I resolve to...

- Gain weight; at least 30 pounds.

- Stop exercising; waste of time.

- Read less; makes you think.

- Watch more TV; I've been missing some good stuff.

- Procrastinate more; starting tomorrow.

- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.

- Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

- Don't have eight children at once.

- Get in a whole NEW rut!

- Start being superstitious.

- Personal goal: bring back disco.

- Don't bet against the Minnesota Vikings.

- Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.

- Get the windows tinted.  Buy some fur for the dash.

- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.

- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

- Don't eat cloned meat.

- Create loose ends.

- Get more toys.

- Get further in debt.

- Don't believe politicians.

- Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.

- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

- Stay off the International Space Station.

- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.

- Associate with even worse business clients.

- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.

- Wait around for opportunity.

- Focus on the faults of others.

- Mope about my faults.

- Never make New Year's resolutions again.

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