logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Army march joke

    Morning March

    I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan, and one requirement was a demanding…
  • Default Image

    Committee Praise

    The new pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship…
  • man6

    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
  • Default Image

    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
  • Default Image

    Face Warning

    Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped…
  • Default Image

    Geneology Question

    When my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher…
  • Default Image

    Exercise Routine

    Here's the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
  • Default Image

    E-mail Problem

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
  • Default Image

    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
  • puddle

    Country Puddle

    A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the…
  • Default Image

    Medical Bill Call

    Many patients call the pathology group where I am office manager to discuss their medical…
  • Default Image

    Does Your Dog Bite?

    A man was standing on the curb reading a newspaper, A great big dog was curled up at his…
  • Default Image

    Let Me Feel Your Pain

    It can buy a house but not a home. It can buy a bed, but not sleep. It can buy a clock…
  • Default Image

    Silent Monastery

    Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said, "Sister, this is…
  • Default Image

    Rainy Weather Humor

    Nothing personal against Seattlites - change it to any other place getting a lot of rain.…

new years_eveThis year, I resolve to...

- Gain weight; at least 30 pounds.

- Stop exercising; waste of time.

- Read less; makes you think.

- Watch more TV; I've been missing some good stuff.

- Procrastinate more; starting tomorrow.

- Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

- Take a vacation to someplace important: like, to see the largest ball of twine.

- Don't jump off a cliff just because everyone else did.

- Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

- Don't have eight children at once.

- Get in a whole NEW rut!

- Start being superstitious.

- Personal goal: bring back disco.

- Don't bet against the Minnesota Vikings.

- Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.

- Get the windows tinted.  Buy some fur for the dash.

- Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabicwords.

- Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

- Spend my summer vacation in Cyberspace.

- Don't eat cloned meat.

- Create loose ends.

- Get more toys.

- Get further in debt.

- Don't believe politicians.

- Don't drive a motorized vehicle across thin ice.

- Avoid transmission of inter-species diseases.

- Avoid airplanes that spontaneously drop 1000 feet.

- Stay off the International Space Station.

- Not swim with pirhanas or sharks.

- Associate with even worse business clients.

- Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.

- Wait around for opportunity.

- Focus on the faults of others.

- Mope about my faults.

- Never make New Year's resolutions again.

Powered By JFBConnect