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More Jokes

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    SPCA Rescue

    "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?""Yes.""I…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the…
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    Are you a Grinch? Test

    *"Are you a Grinch?" Test*1. You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out…
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    Flight Instructions

    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and…
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    Birthday Greetings

    Seen on a birthday card.Forget about the past, You can't change it.Forget about the…
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    Oversensitive Reply

    I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Breaker, Breaker Dog Buddy

    My son Ward owns a shiny green four-wheel-drive truck. He also owns a 110-pound black…
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    Newborn Utterance

    The birth of our second child, a daughter, came after a long and difficult labor. But it…
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    Hans Olaffsen's Laundry

    Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants,…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
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    Travelling Too Light

    A joke from back in the day when people needed a paper ticket to board an airplane ... A…
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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Great Writer

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.…
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    Watermelon Mistake

    Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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