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More Jokes

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    Does That Hurt

    We live in a small town where we have a volunteer Ambulance Corp. We are blessed with…
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    In My Day

    A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one…
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    Great Writer

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.…
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    Pig Rescuer

    Farmer Jones got out of his car and while heading for his friend's door, noticed a pig…
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    Drug Shirt

    My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to…
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    Cheap Loan

    Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York…
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    Golf Cheater

    Sitting at a table in the clubhouse after a game, Joe said to a fellow club member, "I'm…
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    For Sale Sign

    A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming…
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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
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    Hog Mark-up

    My wife and I were dining out at a nice restaurant. I overheard the couple at the next…
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    Forgetting Something

    A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it…
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    Successful Ice Fishing

    Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no…
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    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    Cough Remedy

    The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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