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More Jokes

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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Letter From Tooth Fairy

    Dear _________________ : Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    Whisper Shock

    When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my…
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    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
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    Clutter Advice

    About a week ago, I came across an Internet advice column that told me how to eliminate…
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    Mowing the Lawn

    I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn…
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    The Points System

    For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of…
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    Goober Guide to Household tools

    A goober's guide to household tools: You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it…
  • passenger window on plane

    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Some Things You Can't Escape

    A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six…
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    You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When…

    You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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