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More Jokes

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    Beware of Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE…
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for…
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    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Materialistic Or What?

    A very successful lawyer parked his brand-new Jag XK-8 in front of the office, ready to…
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    Ecumenical Small Talk

    My Protestant clergy friend was speaking with a Catholic priest and wanted to make a…
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    Exercise Routine

    Here's the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Signs Found In The Kitchen

    So this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust! Martha Stewart doesn't live here!! Ring bell…
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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    The Points System

    For all of us guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of…
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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    Prayers as Heard By Children

    Prayers as Heard By ChildrenFrom San Francisco: When I was a child, I learned this prayer…
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    I'm Not Old - I'm Just Mature

    I'M NOT OLD...JUST MATUREToday at the drugstore, the clerk was a gent.From my purchase…
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    Mom's Phone

    Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a…
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    Fourth Grade Logic

    A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation,"…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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