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More Jokes

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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Looking Back

    Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the…
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    Chess Playing Dog

    A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He…
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    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
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    Find and Replace

    The age of the computer brings much ease and expertise to the preparation of the worship…
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    Prescription Worries

    A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know,…
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    Smoke Detector Lesson

    One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our…
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    Cherokee Language

    A Cherokee Indian was a special guest at an elementary school. He talked to the children…
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    Forgetting Something

    A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it…
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    The End is Near

    A local priest and pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The…
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    Speeding Registration

    On a long drive from Virginia, I thought I was traveling at a reasonable speed, but the…
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    Interesting thoughts

    It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 3

    Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you…
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    Matching Shoes

    John and Nancy were married for 40 years and decided they wanted to renew their vows and…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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