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More Jokes

  • purse red

    Purse Contents

    As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the…
  • picture of pilot in plane

    Goober Airlines

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:…
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    Things Mom Doesn't Want To Hear

    "Mom's List Of Things She Does Not Want To Hear"1. I swallowed the goldfish.2. Your…
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    The Verge

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"One child…
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    Battle Of The Dogs

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued…
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    Do You Have?

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Diary of A House Husband

    "Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a…
  • turkey dinner hotline

    Turkey Hotline

    TRUE STORIES FROM THE BUTTERBALL Turkey Hotline, where people call to get advice on how…
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    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
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    What's for Dinner?

    What's for dinner? Can't eat beef......mad cowCan't eat chicken...... bird fluCan't eat…
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    Birthday-Anniversary

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.'…
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    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
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    Proposal Condition

    Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me,…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
  • bucket

    Water Dorm

    When I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights. Dousing…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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