More Jokes

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    Children At The Dinner Party

    During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally…
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    Military Haircut

    Tiring of the same old buzz haircut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went…
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    Cell Phone Find

    An employee of the airport found a cell phone in one of the boarding areas. She switched…
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    Restroom Use Policy

    FROM: Human Resources DepartmentSUBJECT: Restroom Use PolicyIn the past, employees were…
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    Typing Test

    A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have…
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    Refrigerator Goals

    When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the…
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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…
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    Church Dictionary

    From the church dictionary: AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.…
  • wedding kids

    Wedding Vows

    A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows…
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    40 Year Solution

    My parents have been married for almost 40 years. Whenever anyone asks my Dad how they've…
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    Kids on Marriage

    Kids on marriage.... How Does a Person Decide Who to Marry?******- "You flip a nickel,…
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    Finally Heard

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.The…
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    Goober Circle

    A goober had just bought a new sports car and was out for a drive when she swerved…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…
  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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