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More Jokes

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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
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    Cleaning Job

    Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple.…
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    Parrot Skills

    A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three…
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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
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    Funeral Weather

    As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day.The deceased was a little old lady who…
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    Meet Me For Lunch

    The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining…
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    New Year's Football vs. Dinner

    As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Electrical Officer

    My daughter is an electrical officer on a carrier. Recently I asked her what her duties…
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    Putting the Cat Out

    A couple is going out for an evening on the town.When they are almost ready to go, the…
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    Shaving Comeback

    I can't say I've ever gotten a shave from a barber, but I've seen others who have. I was…
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    10 Most Wanted

    Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.…
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    Ten Things A Cat Thinks About

    *Ten Things A Cat Thinks About*1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.2. Is there…
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    Johnny In The Garden

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    Hickbonics

    The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless…

When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:

1. Thank you for your e-mail. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

2. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

3. Due to a transporter malfunction, I am now in the 24th century, and I don't know when I'll be back. But hey, leave a message. Someone might get to it.

4. In case of a business emergency, I may be reached 24 hours a day at (insert Boss's cell phone number here).

5. The e-mail server is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

6. Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you got this message.

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