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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
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    Too Distant / Too Close

    The showers in my daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To…
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    Politically Correct Football

    The Politically Correct National Football League would like to announce its name changes…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    Missed Cues

    This actually happend to CLeanLaugh list member Nila Wilhem. She writes, "Several years…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    *Elf Pet Peeves*7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives…
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    Y1K Problem

    Canterbury, England. AD 999. An atmosphere close to panic prevails today throughout…
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    Signs You Are an Elementary School Teacher

    You are probably an elementary school teacher if:~ You ask guests if they have remembered…
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    Walking Recovery

    An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected…
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    Exercise

    - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I…
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    Bricklayer's Insurance Claim

    I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number…
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    Frugal - to save

    Mary's fourth grade homework assignment was to make sentences using the words in her…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Anniversary Card

    It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office.He told the…
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    Grandpa's Gift

    The following is a true story submitted by list member Mary Lou F. from Kincardine,…

Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our fourth arrived, he was much larger.

After delivery, the medical team began testing and measuring my new son. The last reading came from a nurse, who seemed impressed as she read, "Weight, nine pounds, eight ounces."

My husband, a CPA in corporate finance who'd been quiet up to this point, could contain himself no longer.

"How about that!" my husband exclaimed happily. "It's 36.5% more baby!"

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