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    Needle Manners

    While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I had the difficult assignment of giving…
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    Deep Thoughts

    From an actual newspaper contest where entrants ages 4 to 15 were asked to imitate "Deep…
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    Minister Call

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the…
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    Allleeeee Oooop

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    Check that Address!

    Mr. Johnson, a businessman from Wisconsin, went on a business trip to Louisiana. He…
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    Call to Principal

    The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school. "Hello, this is Dunn…
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    Speeding Stories

    *PULLED OVER* "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the…
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    Carjacking Foiled

    TRUE STORY:Carjacking Foiled:An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4…
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    GOLF, n.

    [1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad…
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    Words Per Day

    Abraham was reading an article out loud to his wife. "Did you know that women use about…
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    In Both Ears

    "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but…
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    Get Your Sister

    A salesman telephoned a household and a young boy answered. "May I speak to your mother?"…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
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    10 Most Wanted

    Little Sammy's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station.…
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    Caught on the Job

    The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at…
For those of us who remember the good old days.

In my day, we didn't have no rocks.  We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about.
We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators.  We had to do addition on our fingers.  To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn't have water.  We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them.  In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

In my day, we didn't have virtual reality.  If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
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