More Jokes

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    Dog License

    During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to…
  • picture of a thanksgiving turkey

    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…
  • pharmacist

    Food Allergy

    Because of an ear infection, my young son, Casey, had to go to the pediatrician. I was…
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    Shoplifter Excuse

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
  • parrot

    Do Not Talk To My Parrot

    Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't…
  • airplane trip from Indianapolis to Chicago

    Flight Time

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    Border Declaration

    Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to…
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    Testimony Night

    It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

    A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different…
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    Subway Drop

    The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most…
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    Hmmmm... Ham Sandwich

    As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce…
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    Noisy Neighbors

    A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and…
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    Out of Fuel

    Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger…
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    Procedure Recall

    As a resident physician in radiology, I was speaking with the man whose wife was about to…
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    Primative Tech Support

    The tech support problem dates back to long before the industrial revolution, when…
For those of us who remember the good old days.

In my day, we didn't have no rocks.  We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get all excited about.
We had to settle for men walking on the crummy moon.

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators.  We had to do addition on our fingers.  To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn't have water.  We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them.  In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

In my day, we didn't have virtual reality.  If a one-eyed, razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an axe, you just had to hope you could outrun him.
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