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    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…
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    Glacier Work

    A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all…
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    Doctor News

    The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad…
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    Go Easy at First

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight…
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    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
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    Offering Encouragement

    A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.One Sunday he…
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    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…
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    Your Turn

    A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

    You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honour…
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    Church Visit

    My grandson, Justin, returned from his first time in church and was asked how it went.He…
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    Signs That You May Be Canadian

    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You understand the phrase, "Could…
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    Flower Oil

    When I go to a local discount store to get oil and filters for my car, I buy my wife a…
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    Sugar Worry

    A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and…
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    Call Me Leroy

    Uncle Leroy got a job down at the broom factory. On his first day the straw boss (floor…

A man hadn't been feeling well at all, so he went to his doctor for a complete check-up.  Afterward the doctor came out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor said.  "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" said the man.  "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks.  "Ten what?  Months?  Weeks?  What?!"

"Nine..."

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