logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • woman3

    Musings

    * A bus station is where a bus stops.A train station is where a train stops.My desk is my…
  • Default Image

    Mummy Heart Failure

    An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket…
  • Default Image

    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
  • Default Image

    Rules for Choosing a Super Hero Name

    1. Don't call yourself by your real name: e.g., Ms. Jenny Pinchuck, The Amazing Stevie…
  • Default Image

    Goober with a Pager

    One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company.…
  • Default Image

    What's for Dinner?

    What's for dinner? Can't eat beef......mad cowCan't eat chicken...... bird fluCan't eat…
  • Default Image

    Picture Favor

    Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a…
  • Default Image

    Dads and Babies

    My two daughters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom,"…
  • power workers

    Checking Out

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
  • Default Image

    The Rules of Combat

    Now here's one for all you combat veterans, corporate bureaucrats, folks in the…
  • Default Image

    Just Pretend

    Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband…
  • Default Image

    Interesting Thoughts

    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack? If a pig loses its voice, is it…
  • Signs of our Time

    Signs of the Times

    In a veterinarian's office:"All unattended children given free kitten" In the parking lot…
  • Default Image

    Vulgar Parrot

    So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a…
  • man son

    Punishment

    An irritated father complained to his golf buddy. "When I was a kid, my parents sent me…

Because I am A Guy...

..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.  If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

..when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call road service until long after hypothermia has set in.  Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at.  If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

..when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.  You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

..I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread.  I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu."  For all I know these are the same thing.  And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up a copy of "Cosmo" or "Better Homes & Gardens."

..when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

..I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone.  Why would you listen to a complete stranger--how could HE know where we're going?

..you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.  Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

..I think what you're wearing is fine.  I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.  Either pair of shoes is fine.  With the belt or without it looks fine.  Your hair is fine.  You look fine.  Can we just go now?

Powered By JFBConnect