logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Third Grade Assignment

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
  • Default Image

    Factory Supplies

    At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines'…
  • couple argue

    5 Toughest Questions Women Ask Men

    1. What are you thinking about?2. Do you love me?3. Do I look fat?4. Do you think she is…
  • picture of a thanksgiving turkey

    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…
  • Default Image

    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
  • Default Image

    Dangerous Criminal

    One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she…
  • Default Image

    In the Dorm

    In the dorm, one of the favorite intramural sports was water fights: dousing and…
  • Default Image

    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
  • Default Image

    Whispering In Church

    A mother took her little boy to church.While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I…
  • Default Image

    Thanks, Honey

    A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes…
  • Default Image

    Five Steps to a Healthy Diet

    Five Steps to a Healthy DietThe Federal Drug and Food Administration is planning to issue…
  • Default Image

    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
  • Default Image

    Great Writer

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.…
  • Default Image

    Dressing Down

    When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and…
  • Default Image

    Mechanic Rate

    A woman surgeon was disturbed about the high cost of her car repair. "This is…

Because I am A Guy...

..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV.  If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator.

..when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call road service until long after hypothermia has set in.  Oh, and when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at.  If another guy shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start."

..when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan.  You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

..I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk, or bread.  I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu."  For all I know these are the same thing.  And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up a copy of "Cosmo" or "Better Homes & Gardens."

..when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

..I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone.  Why would you listen to a complete stranger--how could HE know where we're going?

..you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.  Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

..I think what you're wearing is fine.  I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too.  Either pair of shoes is fine.  With the belt or without it looks fine.  Your hair is fine.  You look fine.  Can we just go now?

Powered By JFBConnect