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More Jokes

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    One Seat Allowed

    A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater. When the usher came by…
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    Taxi Craze

    Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told…
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    More Dog Quotes

    "If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise" -Unknown "In dog years, I'm…
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    Sermon Comment

    After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying…
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    And Then They Voted

    While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was…
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    Textbook For Sale

    Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the…
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    Call Me Tex

    A policeman saw a man dressed in full cowboy garb -- hat, chaps, duster, six-shooters,…
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    Jewelry Store Application

    Becky was the manager of a jewelry store that catered to the rich of the rich in Boca…
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    Fishing Advice

    Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then, another…
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    Keep Walking

    An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.…
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    Clergy Golf

    Taking advantage of a balmy day in New York, my brother and three other priests swapped…
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    50 Years From Now

    Three elderly gents were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about…
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    Backwoods Delivery

    Deep in the backwoods, the goober's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and…
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    Freedom

    The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to…
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    A Captain's Tale

    Long ago lived a seaman named Captain Bravo. He was a manly-man who showed no fear in…

*Before and After Children*

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.

AFTER Children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.

AFTER Children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.

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