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More Jokes

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    Passing Time

    My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day…
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    Cafeteria Sign

    Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of…
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    Party Favor

    After classical violinist Fritz Kreisler was invited to a society party, the hostess…
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    Disappearing Dinosaurs

    Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable…
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    Rental Description

    On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver…
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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
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    Strangest Recording

    I got the strangest recording when I called the phone company the other day.It said, "You…
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    Gift Mug

    I had to go on a business trip the day after my honeymoon, so I decided to purchase a…
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    Home Maid Cure

    A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday,…
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    Senior Ailments

    A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: "My arms are…
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    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…
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    Pole Power

    I was getting ready for work when I looked out the window and saw the utility company…
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    First Time Skydiver

    A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems…
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    Cooking Terms

    Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a…
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    Measuring Hunger

    The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their…

*Before and After Children*

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.

AFTER Children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.

AFTER Children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.

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