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More Jokes

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    Perfect Mate

    At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to…
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    Geraniums

    A man walked into a flower shop and after looking around for several minutes, asked the…
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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Stork Reunion

    A man took his little boy to the zoo for the very first time. Each time they would see a…
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    Overdue Rent

    Walpole had lived in his loft for six months, and by now it was filled with the paintings…
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    New Car

    The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of…
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    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
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    Country Puddle

    A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the…
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    Battle Of The Dogs

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued…
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    Birthday Heart Attack

    Realizing at the last minute that it was his father's birthday, a teenage boy rushed to…
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    Frog in Pocket

    A guy is taking a walk and sees a frog on the side of the road. As he comes closer, the…
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    Train Candy Bar

    Little Johnny and his friend Billy were on their very first train ride, with Billy's…
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    Freshman's Blind Date

    "How was your blind date?" a freshman college student asked her roommate. "Terrible!" the…
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    Judge's Watch

    A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as…
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    Trip Tickets

    Mr. and Mrs. Frobisher had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the…

*Before and After Children*

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the opportunity to vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience a different way of life in a new culture.

AFTER Children: I am thankful to have time to make it all the way down the driveway to get the mail.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for the Moosewood Vegetarian cookbook.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for the butterball turkey hotline.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for a warm, cozy home to share with my loved ones.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for the lock on the bathroom door.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for material objects like custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.

AFTER Children: I am thankful when the baby spits up and misses my good shoes.

BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.

AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.

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