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    Lesser Known Laws

    Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong.…
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    Homework Surprise

    My daughter's third-grade teacher had assigned the children to write a story titled "My…
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    Mother's Flu

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning husband.) Monday…
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    Immigrations Card

    Some years ago an Englishman on a plane to Australia was handed one of those…
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    Photo Apology

    Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman…
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    Taps System

    During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me…
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    Three Mothers

    Three mothers are sitting on a park bench talking about (what else?) how much their sons…
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    Sorry I'm Late Mom

    Late one Saturday evening, I was awakened by the ringing of my phone. In a sleepy grumpy…
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    Office Dog

    A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a…
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    Pastor Jim's Bungee Jump

    Pastor Jim was called to pastor a large Southern Baptist Church in San Antonio, Texas. He…
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    Eating Worms

    Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw…
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    Modern Tool Reality

    Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on one's enemies. Modern…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
  • snails

    Turtle Accident

    Two snails were standing on the side of the road, a turtle stopped and said, "Do you guys…

B - You take my breath away
A - I feel like I'm suffocating

B - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B - Lucy and Ricky
A - Fred and Ethel

B - Saturday Night Fever
A - Monday Night Football

B - He makes me feel like a million dollars
A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

B - Don't stop
A - Don't start

B - The Sound of Music
A - The Sound of Silence

B - Is that all you're having?
A - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

B - Wheel of Fortune
A - Jeopardy

B - Its like I'm in a dream
A - Its like he's in a dorm

B - $60/dozen
A - $1.50/stem

B - Turbo charged
A - Jump start

B - We agree on everything!
A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

B - Charming and Noble
A - Chernobyl

B - Idol
A - Idle

B - I love a woman with curves
A- I never said you were fat

B - He's completely lost without me
A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

B - Time stood still
A - This relationship is going nowhere

B - Croissant and cappuccino
A - Bagel and instant

B - Blind
A - Nearsighted

B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing

B - Iambic Pentameter
A - Blank Verse

B - Oysters
A - Fishsticks

B - I can hardly believe we found each other
A - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

B - Passion
A - Ration

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