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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    6 Legged Turkey

    An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better…
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    Needled

    At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Abbott and Costello - Computer Version

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an…
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    Interactive Weather

    Our part of the country had gone for weeks with little or no rain. The TV weatherman, on…
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    Phone Calls

    Caller: I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator: I'm…
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    Company Role Models

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
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    Rose Plague

    An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to…
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    What "Guy" Phrases Really Mean

    "I'm going fishing."really means..."I'm going to go and stand by a stream with a stick in…
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    Tired and Thirsty

    Three students are leaving their last classes of the day.The law student is thinking,…
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    Sick At Church

    Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden vomit…
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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Long Living

    A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the…

B - You take my breath away
A - I feel like I'm suffocating

B - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B - Lucy and Ricky
A - Fred and Ethel

B - Saturday Night Fever
A - Monday Night Football

B - He makes me feel like a million dollars
A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

B - Don't stop
A - Don't start

B - The Sound of Music
A - The Sound of Silence

B - Is that all you're having?
A - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

B - Wheel of Fortune
A - Jeopardy

B - Its like I'm in a dream
A - Its like he's in a dorm

B - $60/dozen
A - $1.50/stem

B - Turbo charged
A - Jump start

B - We agree on everything!
A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

B - Charming and Noble
A - Chernobyl

B - Idol
A - Idle

B - I love a woman with curves
A- I never said you were fat

B - He's completely lost without me
A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

B - Time stood still
A - This relationship is going nowhere

B - Croissant and cappuccino
A - Bagel and instant

B - Blind
A - Nearsighted

B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing

B - Iambic Pentameter
A - Blank Verse

B - Oysters
A - Fishsticks

B - I can hardly believe we found each other
A - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

B - Passion
A - Ration

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