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More Jokes

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    Radiator Cap Repair

    I remember an old car I used to own. You know the kind, ratty and raggedy, driven when I…
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    Soup Solution

    Customer: Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!Waiter: Don't worry, sir. The frog should…
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    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
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    Things to do When Your ISP Goes Down

    1. Dial 911 immediately.2. Open the curtains to see if anything has changed over the past…
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    Survivalist Training

    A Scoutmaster was teaching his Boy Scouts about survival in the Alaskan wilderness. "What…
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    Zucchini Sign

    After harvesting the usual bumper crop of squash last year, I took a half-dozen to the…
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    Translation Tries

    A Latin American minister was touring the U.S. in an effort to boost financial support…
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    Marriage Proposal

    Some teachers at state universities get to know our students fairly well. One instructor…
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    3rd Grader's Explanation of God

    Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, California, for his third grade…
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    Your Turn

    A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried…
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    No Place Like Home

    While I was dining out with my children, a man came over to our table, and we started…
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    Passing Time

    My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day…
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    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…
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    Y Zero K bug

    Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Money Date

    Part way through his dinner date, my brother deduced the woman he was with was more…

B - You take my breath away
A - I feel like I'm suffocating

B - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B - Lucy and Ricky
A - Fred and Ethel

B - Saturday Night Fever
A - Monday Night Football

B - He makes me feel like a million dollars
A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

B - Don't stop
A - Don't start

B - The Sound of Music
A - The Sound of Silence

B - Is that all you're having?
A - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

B - Wheel of Fortune
A - Jeopardy

B - Its like I'm in a dream
A - Its like he's in a dorm

B - $60/dozen
A - $1.50/stem

B - Turbo charged
A - Jump start

B - We agree on everything!
A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

B - Charming and Noble
A - Chernobyl

B - Idol
A - Idle

B - I love a woman with curves
A- I never said you were fat

B - He's completely lost without me
A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

B - Time stood still
A - This relationship is going nowhere

B - Croissant and cappuccino
A - Bagel and instant

B - Blind
A - Nearsighted

B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing

B - Iambic Pentameter
A - Blank Verse

B - Oysters
A - Fishsticks

B - I can hardly believe we found each other
A - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

B - Passion
A - Ration

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