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    The Vending Machine

    A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has…
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    Planning Ahead

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond…
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    Accident and Interview

    Thorn was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off…
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    Three Times Seven

    Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The…
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    Spelling Information

    "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that,…
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    Y2K - Not so Bad

    January 1, 2000 Re: Vacation Pay Dear Valued Employee: Our records indicate that you have…
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    New Number Request

    Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service…
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    Government Work

    You know you work for the government when:The process becomes more important than the…
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    Hand Signals

    A Florida officer pulls over an eighty-year-old teacher because her hand signals were…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a virus.…
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    Flight Instructions

    During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and…
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    One Interest

    A daddy teased his little daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her…
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    Preparing For Ski Season

    Ski season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:…
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    Haircut Conversations

    *A Woman's Conversation About a Haircut:*Oh! That's so cute!Do you think so? I wasn't…
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    Married Witness

    An uncertain and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered at him,…

B - You take my breath away
A - I feel like I'm suffocating

B - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B - Lucy and Ricky
A - Fred and Ethel

B - Saturday Night Fever
A - Monday Night Football

B - He makes me feel like a million dollars
A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

B - Don't stop
A - Don't start

B - The Sound of Music
A - The Sound of Silence

B - Is that all you're having?
A - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

B - Wheel of Fortune
A - Jeopardy

B - Its like I'm in a dream
A - Its like he's in a dorm

B - $60/dozen
A - $1.50/stem

B - Turbo charged
A - Jump start

B - We agree on everything!
A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

B - Charming and Noble
A - Chernobyl

B - Idol
A - Idle

B - I love a woman with curves
A- I never said you were fat

B - He's completely lost without me
A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

B - Time stood still
A - This relationship is going nowhere

B - Croissant and cappuccino
A - Bagel and instant

B - Blind
A - Nearsighted

B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing

B - Iambic Pentameter
A - Blank Verse

B - Oysters
A - Fishsticks

B - I can hardly believe we found each other
A - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

B - Passion
A - Ration

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