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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    Gore Flubs

    We've all flubbed things we were trying to say - here are some flubs attributed to Al…
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    Measuring Up

    The following question appeared in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Vow Changes

    Ken and Melba had finished their breakfast at the retirement home and were relaxing in…
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    Wheat Exports

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
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    ACTS 2:38

    This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he…
  • prision fence

    Three Escape

    Three women escaped from prison....one was a goober. They ran for miles until they came…
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    Roughing It

    A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska for a trip that the husband…
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    The Verge

    A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' Mother's name?"One child…
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    Office Culture

    The boss joined a group of his workers at the coffee urn and told a series of jokes he'd…
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    Computer Error

    I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come…
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    Tub Baptism

    A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church.…
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    The Half Cake Diet

    A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight.She'd made her family's…

B - You take my breath away
A - I feel like I'm suffocating

B - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B - Lucy and Ricky
A - Fred and Ethel

B - Saturday Night Fever
A - Monday Night Football

B - He makes me feel like a million dollars
A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

B - Don't stop
A - Don't start

B - The Sound of Music
A - The Sound of Silence

B - Is that all you're having?
A - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

B - Wheel of Fortune
A - Jeopardy

B - Its like I'm in a dream
A - Its like he's in a dorm

B - $60/dozen
A - $1.50/stem

B - Turbo charged
A - Jump start

B - We agree on everything!
A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

B - Charming and Noble
A - Chernobyl

B - Idol
A - Idle

B - I love a woman with curves
A- I never said you were fat

B - He's completely lost without me
A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

B - Time stood still
A - This relationship is going nowhere

B - Croissant and cappuccino
A - Bagel and instant

B - Blind
A - Nearsighted

B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing

B - Iambic Pentameter
A - Blank Verse

B - Oysters
A - Fishsticks

B - I can hardly believe we found each other
A - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

B - Passion
A - Ration

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