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    Sewing Lesson

    My granddaughter came to spend a few weeks with me, and I decided to teach her to…
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    Principal Rounds

    It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible…
  • parrot

    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
  • Map of the USA

    Know Your States

    The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked…
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    Surgery Headache

    A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump…
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    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:* Your potted plants stay alive.* 6:00…
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    Pastor's Golf Sunday

    There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be…
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    Exam Assistance

    In the examination paper, the professor wanted us to sign a form stating that we had not…
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    Amazed dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good…
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    Black Snake

    It was the first camping experience for Jed.As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went…
  • A funny clean joke about a dog and a truck and a parking lot.

    Dog Driver

    As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind…
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    Riding Dead Horses

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
  • picture of a winter cabin

    Trapper's Stove

    An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern…
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    Eye Test

    I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test. I placed the…
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    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…

B - You take my breath away
A - I feel like I'm suffocating

B - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
A - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B - Lucy and Ricky
A - Fred and Ethel

B - Saturday Night Fever
A - Monday Night Football

B - He makes me feel like a million dollars
A - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

B - Don't stop
A - Don't start

B - The Sound of Music
A - The Sound of Silence

B - Is that all you're having?
A - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

B - Wheel of Fortune
A - Jeopardy

B - Its like I'm in a dream
A - Its like he's in a dorm

B - $60/dozen
A - $1.50/stem

B - Turbo charged
A - Jump start

B - We agree on everything!
A - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

B - Charming and Noble
A - Chernobyl

B - Idol
A - Idle

B - I love a woman with curves
A- I never said you were fat

B - He's completely lost without me
A - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

B - Time stood still
A - This relationship is going nowhere

B - Croissant and cappuccino
A - Bagel and instant

B - Blind
A - Nearsighted

B - You look so seductive in black
A - Your clothes are so depressing

B - Iambic Pentameter
A - Blank Verse

B - Oysters
A - Fishsticks

B - I can hardly believe we found each other
A - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

B - Passion
A - Ration

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