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More Jokes

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    Family Support

    The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?” The surprised…
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    How Did You Get Me?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…
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    Baby Growth

    Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our…
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    Here Kitty

    Once there was a man named Jim, who let his dog out to pee late one night.He watched some…
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    Zack and His Mule

    Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and…
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    The Turkey Shot Out Of The Oven

    The turkey shot out of the ovenand rocketed into the air,it knocked every plate off the…
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    On Time

    The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger…
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    Sick Call

    Mr. Frobisher constantly called Dr. Wilson at all hours of the day and night and would…
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    Roast Woes

    The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of…
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    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of"yes/no" type…
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    Helping Out

    For a while my husband and I had opposite schedules. He worked during the day, and I…
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    Goat for Dinner

    The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the…
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    You Know You Have A Bad Computer When

    You Know You Have A Bad Computer When . . .10. The lower corner of screen has the words…
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    Super Dress

    Shortly after the birth of their second child, a husband offered to take his wife…
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    Store Safety

    While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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