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More Jokes

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    Growing Up

    While on recess duty at the elementary school where I teach, I was talking with several…
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    100GB bug

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Goober Widow

    A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer.…
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    State of the Pastor

    The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.He walked…
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    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
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    Published Sermons

    After a particularly inspiring worship service, a church member greeted the pastor.…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
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    Tag Fad

    My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his…
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    Mom's Bath Note

    Dear Kids, Don't be alarmed, the world isn't coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath.…
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    Baby Growth

    Our first three babies, all girls, each weighed about seven pounds at birth. When our…
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    Shopping Wife Find

    A couple went Christmas shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and…
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    Stupid Inventions

    Stupid Inventions: - Black Highlighter - Braille Driver's Manual - Clear Correction Fluid…
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    Resume Examples

    These are real examples from real resumes:*Reasons For Leaving Last Job*- Responsibility…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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