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More Jokes

  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    Klopman Diamond

    A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the…
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    Passing Time

    My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day…
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    Ploughing at Night

    A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends.…
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    Run Through the Woods

    Two campers, both in the 60s are walking through the woods. A huge brown bear suddenly…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
  • sunday school

    No Hero of Mine

    "King David used to be a hero of mine, but not anymore," little Brodie told his mother…
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    Really Impressed

    As a psychologist, my first job was working in a small clinic. One of my patients was a…
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    Wedding Speech

    Our nephew was getting married to a doctor's daughter. At the wedding reception, the…
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    Actual Church Signs

    Reported to be actual church signs.... 1. Free Trip to heaven. Details inside! 2. Try our…
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    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
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    What Mom Really Wants

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want for Mother's Day 10. To be able to eat a whole candy…
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    Goober Ring

    Passing an office building late one night, a Goober saw a sign that said, "Press bell for…
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    Parts is Parts

    A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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