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More Jokes

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    Calling For Technical Support

    Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)------------------------------Ring...…
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    Understanding Your Paycheck

    Gross pay: $1222.02 Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89…
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    How Much Are Your Dogs

    If you are not sure what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. It seems this…
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    Vacuous Goober

    It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature."Her question…
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    Babies at the Mall

    A young mother was standing outside a mall holding her six-month-old baby and her…
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    Beauty Watch

    Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.…
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    Horse Batter

    On the first day of Spring Training, a baseball scout brings a race horse with him to add…
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    Skeleton in the Closet

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…
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    Flying Blind

    One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting…
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    Key West Tourists

    I was a salesman and always wore a shirt and tie which made me stand out in Key West.…
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    Growing Up

    While on recess duty at the elementary school where I teach, I was talking with several…
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    PICNIC Problem

    Looking over the log book kept by the computer support staff at my office, I noticed…
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    Circles

    During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed…
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    Robber Visit

    A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, "Wake up, someone is…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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