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More Jokes

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    Special Message

    "Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "A special message just came in…
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    Grizzly Bears

    Wildlife officials in Alaska are alarmed at the increase in grizzly bear attacks on…
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    The Perfect Church Design

    A rich man went to his vicar and said, "I want you and your wife to take a three month…
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    Norma Findlay in Room 302

    A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Michael's Hospital. She timidly asked, Is it possible…
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    Exercise

    - I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.- I…
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    Sarahrella

    After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a…
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    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    Time Travel

    Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard…
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    Taxi Craze

    Jill had to grab a cab to get to a meeting uptown. She hailed one down, got in, and told…
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    Parrot Auction

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
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    Anyone Home?

    A social worker who had recently transferred from the big city to the mountains was…
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    Pray Loud

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys…
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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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