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More Jokes

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    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
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    Ring Appraisal

    An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a…
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    Vacation Ride

    While vacationing in Alberta, Canada, my husband and I went horseback riding. Before the…
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    Penguin Zoo

    Did you hear about the man that had a pet penguin? Soon after he got his penguin, he was…
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    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…
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    NRA Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Football Sleep

    After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and…
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    Signs That You May Be Canadian

    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You understand the phrase, "Could…
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    Smoke Detector Lesson

    One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a church in our…
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    Bathroom Break

    On the first day of school, about mid-morning, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone…
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    Tendjewberrymud

    Its amazing, you will understand the above word by the end of the conversation...... Read…
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    Slow Train

    A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger…
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    I.T. Department Computer Problem Self-Report Form

    *I.T. Department Computer Problem Self-Report Form* 1. Describe your problem:…
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    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    Love Campaign

    The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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