More Jokes

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    Inclusive Poster

    Anxious to include as many minorities, religions and disabilities as possible, the human…
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    Talking Surprise

    On a hot summer day, a farmer and his dog were riding in a wagon pulled by two horses.…
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    Disguising Presents

    Three-year-old Elizabeth was helping her mother Melinda wrap a present for her father.…
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    Tow Request

    The minister's car wouldn't start and so he called the garage to come and tow it in for…
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    Accident Prayer

    As my five-year-old-son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car…
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    Nephew Caddy

    My five-year-old nephew wanted to caddy for my brother's golf game. "You have to count my…
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    Y2K - Not so Bad

    January 1, 2000 Re: Vacation Pay Dear Valued Employee: Our records indicate that you have…
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    Number Eighteen

    A first time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for…
  • ski fall

    Preparing For Ski Season

    Ski season will be here soon! Hence, the following list of exercises to get you prepared:…
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    Free to Go

    Jon and Amanpreet were in an institution. This place had an annual contest where they…
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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    50th Anniversary

    At my grandparents 50th wedding anniversary, I was looking through a photo album of their…
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    Trouble At The Zoo

    Three mischievous boys went to the zoo one day for an outing, since they had been at…
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    Hi Tech Watch

    A man is at Grand Central Station waiting for his train which leaves at 6:00 PM but he…
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    Goober Motivation

    One day a goober was hiking up to an old camp. There was an outhouse along the way, so he…

Best Out Of Office Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on September 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message.

5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

7. I've run away to join a different circus.

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