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    Car Fire

    I had just pulled into a parking spot at the home improvement store when smoke and flames…
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    Quarter Rush

    On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the…
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    New Pope

    A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    Seen This?

    I had trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing…
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    Think She'll Die?

    One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered…
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    Housework Challenged

    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.Seconds after he…
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    Family Feud Answers

    *Here are some actual answers from contestants who have appeared on the game show Family…
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    Goober Mom Writes Goober Son

    Dear Son, I am writing slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we…
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    Shhhhhh!

    A father had three very active boys. One summer evening, he was playing cops and robbers…
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    Sharing

    Uncle Sid and Aunt Sadie are in their eighties and have been married for more than sixty…
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    Environmental Problem

    This was an actual letter from and reply to the Michigan Department of Environmental…
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    Cow Predictions

    A midwest farmer was describing his lifestyle to a touring group of city folks. "One of…
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    Bystander

    Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    Horse Looking

    One day a man passed by a farm and saw a beautiful horse. Hoping to buy the animal, he…

bible personWhat if Biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters?

Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:

Noah for Match.com: We can find a mate for anything. Why not you?

Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com):
Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

The dove for UPS.com: Guaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.

Adam and Eve for Dell: No Apples for us. We've learned the hard way.

Solomon for Microsoft: Don't cut the baby in half.

Joseph for Nikon Coolpix: Only Nikon can capture the 36-bit color of my megapixel dream coat.

Methuselah for AARP.org: Life begins at 960.

Pharaoh for Symantec: If only we'd had Norton AntiPlague 2002 in 2002 ... BC.

Job for NASDAQ: 'Nuff said.

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