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More Jokes

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    2 Bad Days

    You're NOT having a bad day ... these people had bad days: 1. The average cost of…
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    Where'd we get him?

    Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we…
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    Philosophy Chair

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
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    Cinnamon Rolls

    At breakfast one day, I eagerly waited for my husband to comment on my first attempt at…
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    Searching For Witnesses

    The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a…
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    Doctor Quotes

    The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by…
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    Dad and Surgeon

    This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,…
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    Carrier Landings

    Any naval aviator will tell you that landing a plane on an aircraft carrier is THE most…
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    Think She'll Die?

    One afternoon while I was visiting my library, I noticed a group of preschoolers gathered…
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    Fathering

    A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are…
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    Pole Contest

    A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers.The next day, two…
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    Breakfast Call

    When my son was in the ninth grade, we reluctantly agreed to let him move into the…
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    Airport Mistletoe

    It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to…
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    Yard Sale Anger

    A woman was taking her time browsing through everything at a friend's yard sale, and said…

Seen on a birthday card.

Forget about the past, You can't change it.

Forget about the future, You can't predict it.

Inside:

Forget about the present, I didn't buy you one.

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