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More Jokes

  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Quarter Back

    Doctor: Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters? Nurse:…
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    Name Warning

    On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a driver."Not only have…
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    How Did You Get Me?

    A speeding motorist was caught by radar from a police helicopter in the sky. An officer…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Cheap Rhymes With Jeep

    A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I…
  • pig

    Friendly Pig

    A man was on a walking holiday in a foreign country. He became thirsty so decided to ask…
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    Things You Will Never Hear

    Things you'll never hear a man say: 1) Here honey, you use the remote. 2) Ooh, Antonio…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
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    Travel Deal

    A travel agent said to his customer, "I can get you three days and two nights in Rome for…
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    Argument Settled

    The other day, Avril and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    Morning People

    I was sound asleep when the telephone jarred me awake."Hi!" exclaimed my peppy…
  • soccer-ball-and-net

    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer*

    *Stupid Things Actually Said By Commentators In The World Of Soccer* 1. Well, it's…
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    Afraid of The Dark

    A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back…

After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened.

When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died."

"Thank goodness," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"

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