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    Army Arrival

    My youngest brother, Tony had just completed Army basic training and was on leave prior…
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    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    "If It" Office Advice

    If it rings, answer it. Talk kindly. If it clanks, call the repairman. If it whistles,…
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    Nesting Birds

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Salt Lake vs. Denver

    I couldn't decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation, so I called the…
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    Goober with a Pager

    One of my friends works in the customer service call center of a national pager company.…
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    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
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    Time To Wave

    From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting…
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    Read The Label

    It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised…
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    Redecorating Help

    A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of…
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    Perfect Pet

    A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do…
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    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
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    Good Singer

    In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a…
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    Four Little Words

    Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch.…
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    Roughhousing

    A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know…

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

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