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    Mellowing Mom

    I have five siblings, three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my…
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    Think!

    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…
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    Boring Flight

    Bored during a long flight, an eminent scholar leaned over and woke up the sleeping man…
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    Missed Delivery

    Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So, when one irate…
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    Losing New Balls

    Morris had been playing golf for years. He always used the very finest equipment, but his…
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    TV Quote

    Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one…
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    Men's Thesaurus

    "IT'S A GUY THING"Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,…
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    Lab Mix

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make…
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    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor

    How To Simulate The Life Of A Sailor~ Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out,…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…
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    Parenting Test

    MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the Wet…
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    Young Man's Disorder

    A young man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.…
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    Memory School

    Two elderly gentlemen are playing cards on Saturday evening as they have done for the…
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    Physics Purpose

    One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med…

"Golden, Ripe, Boneless Bananas, 39 Cents A Pound."
- Ad in the "Missoulian" by Orange Street Food Farm

"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

"How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby."
- Anonymous Manufacturer

"This is no longer a slum neighborhood. I haven't heard of a Cubs fan being shot in a long time."
- Anonymous Wrigley Field Neighbor, Chicago, IL

"During the scrimmage, Tarkanian paced the sideline with his hands in his pockets while biting his nails."
- AP report describing Fresno State basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian

"Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl."
- Bill Peterson, football coach

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