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    Better By Train

    A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Two by Fours

    Man injured by fallen raccoon A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a…
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    Grandma and Computer

    The computer's swallowed grandmaYes' honestly' its true.She pressed 'control' and…
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    You Know You're Getting Old When

    You know you're getting there when... Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt…
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    You and Your Boss: The Subtle Differences

    If you take a long time, you're slow. But if your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.…
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    Meatloaf

    A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make…
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    Politically Correct Cat Terms

    Politically correct terms for cat owners: - My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a…
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    Dress Code

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the midwest, my friend…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    No Stairs

    An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the…
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    Wilderness Trip

    The first carload of Boy Scouts had left my house minutes earlier, bound for our…
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    No Ears, One Question

    Jack Summers is a constructor at a building site. One day on the site there is a massive…
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    Corrections

    IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are one of hundreds of parachuting enthusiasts who bought our…
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    16 Ways To Confuse Your Roomate

    Some of these are a little odd but they would definitely spice up dorm life. 16 Ways To…

A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.

Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and said, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"

"Really!?" he said, "Have you tried mouthwash?"

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