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    Conductor Comment Comeback

    A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy…
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    Dogs

    ** If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then…
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    More Incorrect

    Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had…
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    Pit Falls

    This particular man was taking a shortcut through the graveyard one dark night. That was…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Packing

    I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup.The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
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    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Exercise Program

    Here is an exercise program for those of us whose wisdom exceeds our ambition. The doctor…
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    NTSB Report on Flight 1549

    Preliminary Accident Report FT 1549. Captain held responsible for unauthorized actions…
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    Pilgrim Church

    Thanksgiving day was approaching, and the family received a Thanksgiving card with a…
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    Heavy Housework

    Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning…
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    Evangelist Request

    During a January revival an evangelist asked the people in line what they needed. One…
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    Kitchen Wizard

    My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she…

A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics.

Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and said, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"

"Really!?" he said, "Have you tried mouthwash?"

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