logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Learned in Yale

    A wealthy contractor liked to know something about all the employees who worked for him.…
  • Default Image

    Australian Football

    I'd heard that Australian football is a lot rougher than the American version, but never…
  • Default Image

    Why ask Why?

    Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? Why…
  • doctor4

    Check Up

    A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse starts with certain basic items.…
  • Default Image

    Ship Movie

    On many U.S. Navy ships the movie screen is suspended amid-ship so that it can be viewed…
  • Default Image

    Goober 911

    Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!
  • Default Image

    Have More Fun at Church

    After church on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've…
  • Default Image

    Truck-Stop Harassment

    A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in.…
  • Default Image

    Goober Job Interview

    An goober goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics.…
  • Default Image

    Ways To Drive A Man Crazy

    ~ Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. ~ Organize his workshop,…
  • Default Image

    Thoughts On Genealogy

    *Thoughts On Genealogy*~ Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.~ I trace my…
  • Default Image

    Chapatti Riddle

    In a party one of Pastor Tim's friends asked him how many chapattis he could eat with an…
  • Default Image

    Mom's Phone

    Because my mother had a habit of losing her cordless phone, I bought her a phone with a…
  • Default Image

    Foreign Languages

    A Swiss guy visited Sydney, Australia, and pulled up at a bus stop where two locals were…
  • Default Image

    Prescription Labels

    A pharmacy major was taking a course in Dispensing. One day they were discussing the…
There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.

They lived on opposite sides of the river and they hated each other.  Every morning, just after sunup, Rufus and Clarence would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at each other.

"Rufus!" Clarence would shout, "You better thank your lucky stars that I can't swim, er I'd swim this river and whup you!"

"Clarence!" Rufus would holler back, "You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I can't swim, er I'd swim this river and whup YOU!"

Every morning.  Every day.  For 20 years.

One day the Army Corps of Engineers came along and built a bridge.  But the insults went on every morning.  Every day.  Another five years.

Finally, Mr.  Rufus' wife had had enough.  "Rufus!" she squallered one day, "I can't take no more!  Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.  Well, thar's the bridge!  Have at it!"

Rufus thought for a moment.  Chewed his bottom lip for another moment.

"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place.  "I'm gonna whup Clarence!"

He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank, came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge, walked about halfway over the bridge, then turned tail and ran screaming back to the house, slammed the door, bolted the windows, grabbed the shotgun and dove under the bed.

"Rufus!" cried the missus.  "I thought you was gonna whup Clarence!"

"I was, woman, I was!" he whispered.

"What in tarnation is the matter?"

"Well," whispered the terror-stricken Rufus, "I walked halfway over the bridge and saw a sign that said 'Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches.' He ain't never looked that big from the other side of the river!"
Powered By JFBConnect