logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Husband's Check

    Proud and pleased as she could be, the new, young bride, Mrs. Stanford Strothers, strode…
  • Default Image

    Broken Scale

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
  • Default Image

    More Newspaper Bloopers

    Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests". A…
  • Default Image

    Reward Change

    A lady lost her handbag at the mall. An honest young lad found it and returned it to her.…
  • Default Image

    Chapatti Riddle

    In a party one of Pastor Tim's friends asked him how many chapattis he could eat with an…
  • Default Image

    Black Canyon Biker

    A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got…
  • Default Image

    Dental Mommy

    For the first time, my four-year-old daughter Kelsey was coming to my office to have me,…
  • Default Image

    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
  • Default Image

    Freeway Repair

    An off-ramp of a freeway in Long Beach, CA, has been torn up for years.Recently, someone…
  • Default Image

    Resume Help

    My husband, an auto mechanic, was looking for higher-paying work and asked me to write…
  • Default Image

    Chicken Farming

    A life-long city man, tired of the rat race, decided he was going to give up the city…
  • Default Image

    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
  • Default Image

    Family Picnic

    The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The pump attendant…
  • Default Image

    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
  • Default Image

    Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

    ** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask…
There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.

They lived on opposite sides of the river and they hated each other.  Every morning, just after sunup, Rufus and Clarence would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at each other.

"Rufus!" Clarence would shout, "You better thank your lucky stars that I can't swim, er I'd swim this river and whup you!"

"Clarence!" Rufus would holler back, "You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I can't swim, er I'd swim this river and whup YOU!"

Every morning.  Every day.  For 20 years.

One day the Army Corps of Engineers came along and built a bridge.  But the insults went on every morning.  Every day.  Another five years.

Finally, Mr.  Rufus' wife had had enough.  "Rufus!" she squallered one day, "I can't take no more!  Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.  Well, thar's the bridge!  Have at it!"

Rufus thought for a moment.  Chewed his bottom lip for another moment.

"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place.  "I'm gonna whup Clarence!"

He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank, came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge, walked about halfway over the bridge, then turned tail and ran screaming back to the house, slammed the door, bolted the windows, grabbed the shotgun and dove under the bed.

"Rufus!" cried the missus.  "I thought you was gonna whup Clarence!"

"I was, woman, I was!" he whispered.

"What in tarnation is the matter?"

"Well," whispered the terror-stricken Rufus, "I walked halfway over the bridge and saw a sign that said 'Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches.' He ain't never looked that big from the other side of the river!"
Powered By JFBConnect