logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    John Will Be Fine

    The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his…
  • Default Image

    All Saved Up

    After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news: "Honey, we've…
  • Default Image

    Coin Test

    During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids.…
  • Default Image

    Census Taker

    An old man was sitting on his porch, when a young man walked up with a pad and pencil in…
  • Default Image

    Great Writing

    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great…
  • dog irish_setter

    Weather Forecaster

    To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door…
  • Default Image

    Picture Favor

    Dining out one evening, I noticed six teenagers boisterously celebrating some event at a…
  • Default Image

    Haircut Plan

    I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be…
  • Default Image
  • Default Image

    Walking on Water

    Bob, the goober, heard a rumor that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all…
  • picture of old lady

    Granny's Visit

    Little Tony was so happy to see his grandmother that he ran up and gave her a big hug.…
  • violin

    The Violin

    Little Hope was practicing the violin in the living room while her father was trying to…
  • Default Image

    Think!

    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…
  • Default Image

    More Sayings

    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an…
  • Default Image
There were two old geezers living in the backwoods of the Ozarks: Rufus and Clarence.

They lived on opposite sides of the river and they hated each other.  Every morning, just after sunup, Rufus and Clarence would go down to their respective sides of the river and yell at each other.

"Rufus!" Clarence would shout, "You better thank your lucky stars that I can't swim, er I'd swim this river and whup you!"

"Clarence!" Rufus would holler back, "You better thank YOUR lucky stars that I can't swim, er I'd swim this river and whup YOU!"

Every morning.  Every day.  For 20 years.

One day the Army Corps of Engineers came along and built a bridge.  But the insults went on every morning.  Every day.  Another five years.

Finally, Mr.  Rufus' wife had had enough.  "Rufus!" she squallered one day, "I can't take no more!  Every day for 25 years you've been threatenin' to whup Clarence.  Well, thar's the bridge!  Have at it!"

Rufus thought for a moment.  Chewed his bottom lip for another moment.

"Woman!" he declared, snapping his suspenders into place.  "I'm gonna whup Clarence!"

He walked out the door, down to the river, along the riverbank, came to the bridge, stepped up onto the bridge, walked about halfway over the bridge, then turned tail and ran screaming back to the house, slammed the door, bolted the windows, grabbed the shotgun and dove under the bed.

"Rufus!" cried the missus.  "I thought you was gonna whup Clarence!"

"I was, woman, I was!" he whispered.

"What in tarnation is the matter?"

"Well," whispered the terror-stricken Rufus, "I walked halfway over the bridge and saw a sign that said 'Clearance, 13 feet, 6 inches.' He ain't never looked that big from the other side of the river!"
Powered By JFBConnect