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More Jokes

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    Headlines from 2050

    *Headlines from 2050* Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten…
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    Calling For Technical Support

    Calling For Technical Support (sound familiar?)------------------------------Ring...…
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    Getting Older

    Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
  • gravestones

    Checking In

    Brad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant…
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    Overheard At The Cemetery

    These two boys filled up a bucket of nuts and sat down by the tree. Out of sight, they…
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    The Vending Machine

    A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has…
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    Poor Preacher

    After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give…
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    Moving Label

    Having moved 15 times during our 37-year marriage, my husband and I appreciate movers who…
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    Dog Sweater

    In an upscale pet-supply store, a customer wanted to buy a red sweater for her dog.The…
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    Head Check

    One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he…
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    Golf desire

    Detailed instructions on managing your subscription are included after the body of this…
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    Dignified Exit

    One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed…
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    Gender Request

    After learning the Lamaze method of natural childbirth, I was admitted to the delivery…
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    Sloth Police Report

    A sloth is out for a walk when he's mugged by four snails. After recovering his wits, he…
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    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…

*I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer would not turn on.

*My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont.  The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

*I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair, the whole thing looking like an extra from "Twister".  I asked the manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.

*I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person, who answered said, "Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?"

*The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken aback by a recent incident.  Returning home from work, a woman had been shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.  The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 officer patrolling nearby was first on the scene.  As he approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen.  I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send a blind policeman!"

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