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    Diamond Assumption

    An acquaintance of mine, whose daughter was about to be married, decided to give her a…
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    Card Dog

    A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three men and a dog playing cards. The dog…
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    I Think Not

    I do not think -- therefore I am not.Here is the illustration of this principle:One…
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    Someone Is Knocking

    A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to visit his parishioners. All…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Radio Transmission

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and…
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    No Speaka Da German

    A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed…
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    Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

    (From the Archives back in 1999)1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
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    Marry An Actor

    An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand…
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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
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    Vet Visit

    In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance.…
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    Manager's Project Buzzword Tool

    Are you a manager and behind in your team's project? Here is a handy tool for helping you…
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    Surgery Plan

    We were on our way to the hospital where our 16-year-old daughter was scheduled to…
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    More Laws of Life

    * Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the…

*I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the life of him could not understand why his computer would not turn on.

*My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont.  The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

*I was in a car dealership a while ago when a large motor home was towed into the garage.  The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair, the whole thing looking like an extra from "Twister".  I asked the manager what had happened.  He told me that the driver had set the cruise control, then went in back to make a sandwich.

*I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person, who answered said, "Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?"

*The Baltimore Police Department, famous for its superior K-9 unit, was somewhat taken aback by a recent incident.  Returning home from work, a woman had been shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.

She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.  The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 officer patrolling nearby was first on the scene.  As he approached the house with his dog on a leash, the woman ran out on the porch, clapped a hand to her head and moaned, "I come home from work to find all my possessions stolen.  I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send a blind policeman!"

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