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  • football

    Football Newbie

    A guy took his girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked…
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    Top Ten things Men Understand about Women

    1.2.3.4.5.6.7.8.9.10. Just smile and pass it on!
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    Goober Coffee Maker

    The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received…
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    The Internet's Last Page

    The Internet's Last Page You have been directed to the last page of the internet. We…
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    Mirror Honesty

    A husband and wife are getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Goober Release

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Collect Call

    My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.During a break, she decided to…
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    Take Two Instead

    A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk…
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    Toilet Repair

    Because I couldn't unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to dismantle the entire…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
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    Kitten Saga

    The pastor of a local church had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and was…
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    Heard By Tech

    Things heard by tech support:Customer: "I have Microword Soft."Customer: "Microwave…
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    Classmate Reunion

    While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed…
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    62nd Birthday

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…

About five years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. 

I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car.

I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it.  I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30 mph for it to start.  She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off.

I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing.  A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 40 mph, I realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions.

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