More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Photo Apology

    Photographer Ruth Van Bergen specialized in celebrity portraits. One wealthy woman…
  • cooking with gas

    Servicemen Foot Race

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
  • Default Image

    Dangerous Cargo

    Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the…
  • Default Image

    Puzzled Border Guard

    Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his…
  • Default Image

    Boy or Girl

    Man: "Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
  • Default Image

    Insurance Reflection

    Bill's barn burned down, and his wife Polly called the insurance company.Polly told the…
  • Default Image

    Parrot Auction

    One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…
  • Default Image

    Positive Start

    How to start your day with a positive outlook.1. Open a new file in your PC.2. Name it…
  • Picture of Pulled Over By Police Car

    Ticketing Mom?

    Thanks to Kathy Edwards for submitting this true story. She wrote, "Pastor Tim, This…
  • Default Image

    Egg Timing

    A friend of mine, a new bride, was on her honeymoon and spent one night at her spouse's…
  • Default Image

    Jericho Walls

    The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him…
  • Default Image

    Dun in Texas

    A cowboy (named Julius?) rode into town and stopped at the saloon for a drink.…
  • Default Image

    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
  • beard and_necktie

    Interview Excerpts

    The following, allegedly, are actual post-interview excerpts collected from middle…
  • Default Image

    Doctor's Writing

    Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the usual doctor's…

Over the massive front doors of a church, these words were inscribed: The Gate of Heaven".  Below that was a small cardboard sign which read: "Please use other entrance."

Rev.  Warren J.  Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of Yuma, AZ, says that the best prayer he ever heard was: "Lord, please make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.  A young girl answered:  "Because they couldn't get a babysitter."

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.  "What Denomination?" Asked the clerk.  "Oh, good heavens!  Have we come to this?" said the woman.  "Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic ones."

Pastor: "This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs.  Johnson to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."

Rev.  H.J.  Dick, pastor of Emmaus Mennonite Church near Whitewater, KS, came to the end of a very heavy day at the New Year's Eve midnight service.  Getting his tongue tangled, he announced, "Let us now stand and sing, Another Dear is Yawning."

On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church.  The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heck, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it." The pastor continued with the full service - including a 40 minute sermon.  On the way out the farmer said, "I said I would still feed the one cow - not feed him the whole herds food."

During a children's sermon, Rev.  Larry Eisenberg asked the children what "Amen" means.  A little boy raised his hand and said: "It means - 'Tha-tha-tha-that's all folks!' "

A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order.  His answer?  "3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7".

I was at the beach with my children when my four-year-old son ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and led me to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand.  "Mommy, what happened to him?" the little boy asked.  "He died and went to Heaven," I replied.  My son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"

Bill Keane, creator of the Family Circus cartoon strip tells of a time when he was penciling one of his cartoons and his son Jeffy said, "Daddy, how do you know what to draw?" I said, "God tells me." Jeffy said, "Then why do you keep erasing parts of it?"

After the church service, a little boy told the pastor: "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're on of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

My wife invited some people to dinner.  At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.  "Just say what you hear Mommy say,"
my wife said.  Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"

Powered By JFBConnect