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    Eye Problems

    "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician…
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    Pain Cause

    A little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
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    Card Reader

    "Can people predict the future with cards?" Jessica asked Danny."My mother can," Danny…
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    Enjoyment of Food

    Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Immigrations Card

    Some years ago an Englishman on a plane to Australia was handed one of those…
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    Famous Last Words

    * Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the…
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    Dishwasher Repair

    Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work…
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    W-a-i-t-i-n-g

    The two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was…
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    Hamster Care

    After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom,…
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    When Aging Reality Sets In

    *When Aging Reality Sets In*1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying…
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    Junior's Nickels

    There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at the local grocery store. The…
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    Hospital Regulations

    Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while…
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    Valedictorian

    At the beginning of the school year, one seventh grader was reflecting on his chance at…

A screenwriter comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. "What happened, honey?" the man asks.

"Oh, John, it was terrible," she weeps. "I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn't notice the stove had caught on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. I nearly didn't make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is gone..."

"Wait! Back up a minute," the man says. "My agent called?"

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