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More Jokes

  • baby feet

    Tiny Rose

    A tiny sweet baby was born to a goober and his wife. They had always dreamed of having a…
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    You Know You Are Over the Hill When

    1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music. 2. You're sitting on a park bench…
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    Living to 104

    At his 103rd birthday party, my grandfather was asked if he planned to be around for his…
  • cow3

    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
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    Priceless Grandparent Stories - Part 3

    11. Subject: Children's Logic: Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a…
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    Even More Cute Kids

    A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old…
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    Golf Beginner

    A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers.Thinking he'd try the game, he…
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    Genius

    A guy did system support in a law firm. One day, he had to log a user off and then back…
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    Swim of Love

    Once there was a millionaire who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in…
  • freezer

    Freezer Order

    I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals. Forget calling them "Veal…
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    Dream Woman

    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of…
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    Fixed Sign

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Half Joking Pastor

    Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the speakers…
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    Senior Driver

    As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.Answering, he heard…

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.

Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.  A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges.  Steer clear of those named for landfills.

While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy Knife has remained largely unheralded.  Its single blade functions as a tiny canoe paddle.

Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to stay dry in a downpour.  Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch, however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness experience.

Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter.
Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match.

You'll never be lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.

You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.

The canoe paddle, a simple device used to propel a boat, should never be confused with a gnu paddle, a similar device used by Tibetan veterinarians.

When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt.  It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping:
Shine a flashlight into one ear.  If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish.  A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.

The sight of a bald eagle has thrilled campers for generations.
The sight of a bald man, however, does absolutely nothing for the eagle.

It's entirely possible to spend your whole vacation on a winding mountain road behind a large motor home.

Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country.  The tricky part is getting them on the bears.

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