logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Cancelling Cards

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."

Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • taxi-zone-sign

    Taxi Grad

    A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his…
  • cat on roof

    Bachelor's Cat

    A bachelor kept a cat for companionship, and loved his cat more than life itself. He was…
  • Default Image

    New Passport Photo

    Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old…
  • Default Image

    Forklift Economy

    After being laid off from three jobs in the past year, Dewey was hired to work in a…
  • Default Image

    Mouse Repellant

    A couple moved to the country when they retired. One mild winter, they had a bit of a…
  • Default Image

    Marry An Actor

    An aspiring young actor asked a young lady's father if he could have his daughter's hand…
  • Default Image

    Small Town Check

    I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the…
  • Default Image

    Remember The Elderly

    The following is a letter received by a pastor from an 86 year old lady. The lady…
  • Default Image

    Newspaper Ads

    **Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced yards, meals and smacks…
  • Default Image

    Little Bars of Soap

    Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff…
  • judges gavel

    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
  • Default Image

    Scared vs. Apprehension

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
  • Default Image

    Noisy Neighbors

    A man was telling his friend about his upstairs neighbors. "They started to jump up and…
  • Last Minute Turkey

    Last Minute Turkey

    It's the day before Thanksgiving and the butcher is just locking up when a man pounds on…
  • Default Image

    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…