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    Chewed Out

    My wife chewed me out at the company picnic a while back. "Doesn't it embarrass you that…
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    Centipede Snack

    A guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to…
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    Cart Ads

    My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising…
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    Bagel Storm

    It was a terrible night, blowing cold and rain in a most frightful manner. The streets…
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    Doctor in the House

    A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in…
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    Sightseeing at Alcatraz

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    Take Two Instead

    A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk…
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    ID Card

    The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID card that featured a…
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    Y Zero K bug

    Message from: Rome January 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Board Meeting

    After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church…
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    Laws of Household Physics

    Ever notice that the laws of household physics are every bit as real as all other laws of…
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    Arguing

    The other day, Nancy and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would…
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    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
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    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
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    Hymns vs. Choruses

    THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HYMNS AND PRAISE CHORUSES An old farmer went to the city one…

A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to explain his problem.

"Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"

"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch."

"Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."

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