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More Jokes

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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    F1 - Help

    My friend was on duty in the main computer lab on a quiet afternoon he noticed a young…
  • class room

    Tough Teacher

    A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of…
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    The Vet and The Doc

    A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Word of Mouth

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    Road Closed

    Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway…
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    The 3 stages of man

    The 3 stages of man:He believes in Santa Claus.He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.He is…
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    Amazing Golf Ball

    A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a salesman runs up to him,…
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    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    Calling In Sick

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
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    Penny Problems

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard…
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    Dinosaur Bones

    Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur…
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    Minister Call

    A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar.During her struggle the…
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    Fly Problem

    My husband is a doctor, and he received an emergency call from a patient. She had a fly…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…

If the car ad claims ..., it really means ...

- rough condition... too bad to lie about

- parts car... beyond repair

- immaculate... recently washed

- engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul... needs engine

- needs major overhaul... Phone the junkyard

- burns no oil... (it all leaks out)

- rebuilt engine... Cleaned the spark plugs.

- Drive it away... I live on a hill.

- Drive it anywhere... (within 10 miles)

- desirable classic... No one wants it.

- rare classic... No one wanted it even when it was new.

- stored 20 years... (in a farmer's field)

- ran when stored... Won't start.

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