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More Jokes

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    Cursing Parrot

    Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad…
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    You've Had Too Much Coffee When

    You've had too much coffee when: 1. You ski uphill. 2. You get a speeding ticket even…
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    Afraid of The Dark

    A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back…
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    Boat Rental

    A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost…
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    Sister Cheer Up

    My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening…
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    $100 Coffee

    A street person approached a passer-by and said, "Sir, would you give me $100 for a cup…
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    Really Impressed

    As a psychologist, my first job was working in a small clinic. One of my patients was a…
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    Stolen Truck

    The young goober came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Jake, somebody just…
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    Day of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    Reading Problem

    A patient came to me to discuss her nine year old son who was having difficulty reading.…
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    Flu Notes

    (Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by a well-meaning husband who has…
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    Insured Voice

    A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in…
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    Young Patient

    A pediatrician in town always plays a game with some of his young patients to put them at…
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    Testimony Night

    It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked…

car oldIf the car ad claims these items, it really means:

- rough condition = too bad to lie about

- parts car = beyond repair

- immaculate = recently washed

- engine quiet = if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul = needs an engine

- needs major overhaul = phone the junkyard

- burns no oil = it all leaks out

- rebuilt engine = cleaned the spark plugs

- drive it away = I live on a hill

- drive it anywhere = within 10 miles

- desirable classic = no one wants it

- rare classic = no one wanted it even when it was new

- stored 20 years = in a farmer's field

- ran when stored = won't start

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