If the car ad claims these items, it really means:

- rough condition = too bad to lie about

- parts car = beyond repair

- immaculate = recently washed

- engine quiet = if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul = needs an engine

- needs major overhaul = phone the junkyard

- burns no oil = it all leaks out

- rebuilt engine = cleaned the spark plugs

- drive it away = I live on a hill

- drive it anywhere = within 10 miles

- desirable classic = no one wants it

- rare classic = no one wanted it even when it was new

- stored 20 years = in a farmer's field

- ran when stored = won't start