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    Wayward Cessna

    You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high security, super-secret base in Nevada,…
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    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
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    Sibling Takes

    As I was dropping my son off at daycare the other day, I overheard some of the children…
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    Time Off

    Two factory workers were talking. "I know how to get some time off from work." said the…
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    Analogies and Metaphors

    These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.- John and Mary had…
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    Swindled

    A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it.…
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    The Wedding Dress

    Betty was soon to be married. More than anything, she wanted to wear the wedding dress…
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    Things That Make You Go "Ummmmmmm????"

    If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? Instead of talking to your…
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    Little Encouragement

    The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were leaving the church. An elderly…
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    Cinderella Question

    The tax accountant had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter…
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    Fight Lights

    I am a very nervous flyer. During a trip from California to Indiana, it didn't help that…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    New Pope

    A high school history teacher was discussing the funeral of the Pope with his class. One…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Missing Church

    Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they…

car oldIf the car ad claims these items, it really means:

- rough condition = too bad to lie about

- parts car = beyond repair

- immaculate = recently washed

- engine quiet = if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul = needs an engine

- needs major overhaul = phone the junkyard

- burns no oil = it all leaks out

- rebuilt engine = cleaned the spark plugs

- drive it away = I live on a hill

- drive it anywhere = within 10 miles

- desirable classic = no one wants it

- rare classic = no one wanted it even when it was new

- stored 20 years = in a farmer's field

- ran when stored = won't start

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