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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…
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    Sightseeing at Alcatraz

    A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase…
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    "R" Troubles

    A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other…
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    Vacation Offer

    A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months…
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    Car-jacking Foiled

    An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found 4 males in her car. She dropped…
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    Lost Over Washington State

    A helicopter was flying around above Washington State yesterday when an electrical…
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    Immigrations Card

    Some years ago an Englishman on a plane to Australia was handed one of those…
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    One Man Team

    (Note: It's just a joke so change the name of the teams as it suits you.) The Redskins…
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    Boring Flight

    Bored during a long flight, an eminent scholar leaned over and woke up the sleeping man…
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    You Know You Have A Bad Computer When

    You Know You Have A Bad Computer When . . .10. The lower corner of screen has the words…
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    Sisters at the Superbowl

    Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the…
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    Dog Calls

    Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty…
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    Charm School 101

    At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm…
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    Signs You Are Broke

    1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course…
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    Understanding Your Paycheck

    Gross pay: $1222.02 Income Tax Outgo Tax State Tax Interstate Tax244.40 45.21 61.10 5.89…

car oldIf the car ad claims these items, it really means:

- rough condition = too bad to lie about

- parts car = beyond repair

- immaculate = recently washed

- engine quiet = if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul = needs an engine

- needs major overhaul = phone the junkyard

- burns no oil = it all leaks out

- rebuilt engine = cleaned the spark plugs

- drive it away = I live on a hill

- drive it anywhere = within 10 miles

- desirable classic = no one wants it

- rare classic = no one wanted it even when it was new

- stored 20 years = in a farmer's field

- ran when stored = won't start

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