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More Jokes

  • Picture of a student pilot

    Tips For Student Pilots

    Tips for student pilots. 1. Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory. 2. If you push…
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    Stair Climbing

    Most mornings I go to the local YMCA to exercise. One morning there was a big man working…
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    Thank-you Notes

    One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of…
  • peat moss

    No ID

    A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal…
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    Withheld Pay

    After being laid off from five different jobs in four months, my Uncle Joe was hired by a…
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    Radio Transmission

    This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a U.S. naval ship and…
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    Church Mice Problem

    Three Pastors were having lunch together at a diner.The first Pastor said, "Ya know,…
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    Riding Dead Horses

    The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says…
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    *Food Spoilage Tests For Bachelors*

    THE GAG TEST: Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you…
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    The Patch

    During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed his…
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    New Discovery

    The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory.An exciting new discovery is about to take…
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    Visiting Oxford

    An guy was visiting Oxford University for the first time. He stopped a passing Oxford don…
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    Einstein At A Party

    Albert Einstein arrives at a party and introduces himself to the first person he sees and…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out,…
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    Making Babies

    A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We…

If the car ad claims ..., it really means ...

- rough condition... too bad to lie about

- parts car... beyond repair

- immaculate... recently washed

- engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul... needs engine

- needs major overhaul... Phone the junkyard

- burns no oil... (it all leaks out)

- rebuilt engine... Cleaned the spark plugs.

- Drive it away... I live on a hill.

- Drive it anywhere... (within 10 miles)

- desirable classic... No one wants it.

- rare classic... No one wanted it even when it was new.

- stored 20 years... (in a farmer's field)

- ran when stored... Won't start.

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