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More Jokes

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    Delete Button

    Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My…
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    Crossing Lesson

    There's a man trying to cross the street. As he steps off the curb a car comes screaming…
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    Boat Rental

    A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Car 34

    A young man is an avid listener to the city's police frequency, and he leaves the scanner…
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    Noise Abatement

    "Flight 1234," the control tower advised, "turn right 45 degrees for noise…
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    Question and Answer

    A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.On the paper…
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    Sick Day

    Our local newspaper ran several stories about a study that tied male obesity to a…
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    General Motors Help Line

    General Motors doesn't have a help line for people who don't know how to drive, because…
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    Welcome to the Neighborhood

    A family who had just moved into a new neighborhood was anxious to make a good…
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    Captain Discipline

    About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a…
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    Punishment Withheld

    Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also…
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    Foreign Encounter

    I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must…
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    Rare Steak

    Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the…
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    Blind Date Slap

    An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to…

If the car ad claims ..., it really means ...

- rough condition... too bad to lie about

- parts car... beyond repair

- immaculate... recently washed

- engine quiet... if you use 90-weight oil

- needs minor overhaul... needs engine

- needs major overhaul... Phone the junkyard

- burns no oil... (it all leaks out)

- rebuilt engine... Cleaned the spark plugs.

- Drive it away... I live on a hill.

- Drive it anywhere... (within 10 miles)

- desirable classic... No one wants it.

- rare classic... No one wanted it even when it was new.

- stored 20 years... (in a farmer's field)

- ran when stored... Won't start.

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