logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Welcome Home

    A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
  • Default Image

    Rattlesnakes

    Felix, my husband, was playing golf with our town's fire chief when he hit a ball into…
  • mayan calender

    End of Mayan Calendar

    Several thousand years ago... Mayan one: "Okay guys I've finished the calender!" Mayan…
  • Default Image

    Tournament Weather`

    Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was…
  • Default Image

    Quotes From 11 Year-Olds' Science Exams

    The following are all quotes from 11 year-olds' science exams:"Water is composed of two…
  • Default Image

    Chicken Answers

    Before you get to today’s supersized CleanLaugh, a bit down this e-mail (post number…
  • Default Image

    Brightness In Action

    *I worked with an individual who plugged his power strip back into itself and for the…
  • Default Image

    More Actual Classified Ads

    More Actual Classified Ads - - - - - Stock up and save. Limit: one. - We build bodies…
  • Default Image

    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
  • officer navy

    Wedding Pass

    A friend of mine joined the Navy and soon after had to attend a wedding. He asked an…
  • Default Image

    Fly Bye

    A woman walked into her house to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.…
  • Default Image

    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
  • Default Image

    Goober Mirror

    Two goobers, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.Carol noticed a compact on the…
  • Default Image

    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…

If General Motors had a car help lineGeneral Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers.  But, imagine if they did . . .

HELPLINE: "General Motors Help line, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Help line, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Help line, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your car stinks!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -- and now it won't start!"

HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product. What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest version that doesn't crash anymore!"


HELPLINE: "General Motors Help line, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"

Powered By JFBConnect