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More Jokes

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    Some Wacky Definitions

    EGOCENTRIC: a person who believes he is everything you know you are. MAGAZINE: bunch of…
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    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…
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    Speeding Excuses

    Philadelphia's Highway Patrol officers hear all kinds of creative excuses that drivers…
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    Water Pistol

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a…
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    First Case Tried

    An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so…
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    Another Try - Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say

    Things You Never Want to Hear the Exterminator Say...20. You know, when you build your…
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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
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    Zoo Thank You

    As a volunteer who conducts educational tours of the Zoo, Sally occasionally receives…
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    Dad Shopping

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    Trading Caps

    I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had…
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    Nativity Quiz

    A minister is visiting his children to celebrate Christmas. When he walks into the house,…
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    Alllleee-oop!

    A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer…
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    More Musings

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged…
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    Rejected Invitation

    Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her…
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    Auction Parrot

    One day a man went to an auction.While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this…

"Car Names Explained"

(My car is in here so don't be offended if yours is too!)

AUDI - Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW - Big Money Works

Bought My Wife

Brutal Money Waster

Break My Window

BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

DODGE - Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere

Dead or Dying Gas Eater

Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Express

FIAT - Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

Fix It All the Time

Fix it again, Tony!

FORD - First On Recall Day

First On Race Day

First On Rust and Deterioration

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Fault Of R&D

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

Found On Russian Dump

GM - General Maintenance

Great Mistake

GMC - Garage Man's Companion

Got A Mechanic Coming?

HONDA - Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...

MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everywhere,

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO - Put in new transmission often

PONTIAC - poor old Neanderthal thinks it's a Cadillac

SAAB - Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

TOYOTA - Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners

VW - Virtually Worthless

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