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    Why Some Countries CAN'T Go Metric

    If the metric system did ever take over, we'd have to change our thinking to the…
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    Restaurant Rating

    I was meeting a friend in a restaurant and as I went in, I noticed two pretty girls…
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    Moving Smith

    Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office."Boss," he says, "we're doing some…
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    Build It and They Will Come

    The telephone solicitor selling basement waterproofing must have thought she'd died and…
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    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…
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    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…
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    Air Boss

    Activated from the Army Reserves for a joint service Arctic exercise, I was assigned to…
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    I'm Not Sure

    When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure.""Look in…
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    Helpful Executive

    A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing…
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    Minibike

    A young man drove his mini-bike in to a gas station and dismounted."I'll need about a…
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    Alternative Baptism

    As a young preacher, my small church had limited facilities, so we held baptisms in a…
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    Watch Your Hat and Overcoat

    The crowded cafeteria sported a large sign reading: "Watch Your Hat and Overcoat."Meyer…
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    Tree Trouble

    Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on my father's young peach tree for two…
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    Walk-in Scream

    A woman went to a walk-in clinic, where she was seen by a young, new doctor. After about…
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    The Magician and The Parrot

    A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different…

"Car Names Explained"

(My car is in here so don't be offended if yours is too!)

AUDI - Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

BMW - Big Money Works

Bought My Wife

Brutal Money Waster

Break My Window

BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer

CHEVROLET - Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips

Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

Cheap Heap, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

Condition Hopeless, Entire Vehicle Relies On Leftover Engine Technology

DODGE - Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

Dem Old Dudes Go Everywhere

Dead or Dying Gas Eater

Dear Old Dad's Geriatric Express

FIAT - Failure in Italian Automotive Technology

Fix It All the Time

Fix it again, Tony!

FORD - First On Recall Day

First On Race Day

First On Rust and Deterioration

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Fault Of R&D

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

Found On Russian Dump

GM - General Maintenance

Great Mistake

GMC - Garage Man's Companion

Got A Mechanic Coming?

HONDA - Had One Never Did Again

HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive...

MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE - Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everywhere,

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PINTO - Put in new transmission often

PONTIAC - poor old Neanderthal thinks it's a Cadillac

SAAB - Send Another Automobile Back

Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

TOYOTA - Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

Vehicles Of Low Velocity Owners

VW - Virtually Worthless

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