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    Actual Elementary School Excuse Notes

    * "Jerry was at his grandmother's yesterday, and she did not bring him to school because…
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    Kid Wisdom

    When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' Don't answer.Never tell your Mom…
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    Visiting Grandma

    Grandma, who appeared to become an ever-more intimidating personality as the years went…
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    Haircut Plan

    I was getting my hair cut at a neighborhood shop, and I asked the barber when would be…
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    Information Assistance

    "Information. Can I help you?" "I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please." "One…
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    Universal Solvent

    "The father was very proud when his son went off to college. He came to tour the school…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
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    One and Only

    "Mum, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to…
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    Haiku Error Messages

    Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new…
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    Forgetting Something

    A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it…
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    Theory Testing Contest

    *Winners of a Recent Theory Testing Contest* HONOURABLE MENTION: The quantity of…
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    29 Ways to Annoy People

    32 Ways To Annoy People 1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch…
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    2 Sunday School Lessons

    *Sunday School Lesson #1*A Sunday School teacher challenged her children to take some…
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    Ten Things a Mom Doesn't Want to Hear

    1. I swallowed a goldfish. 2. Your lipstick works better than crayons. 3. Does grape…
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    Kids and Cliches

    I teach fourth grade in Ventura County, California. As a fun assignment, I gave the…

Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader. Because of this, my fellow tellers and I often find ourselves having to explain how it's done.

One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained it. I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down facing me."

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