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  • phone help

    IAMS Hotline

    The IAMS Pet Professionals, a team of 30 trained customer service representatives at The…
  • form

    Vacation Time

    Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview…
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    Check Signing

    Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and…
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    New and Approved

    The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a goodnight story.…
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    Dishwashed Verse

    Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, This isn't a man s job.Oh yes, it…
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    Car Privileges

    David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On…
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    Crossing Chicken

    Question: Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers: KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to…
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    Math Symbols

    While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and…
  • card birthday

    Card Cover Up

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a birthday/anniversary card. The…
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    Misbehaving Phone Call

    Seven year old Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.Two days…
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    Frazzled Doctor

    As soon as I stepped into the urgent-care facility in my hometown, I could see the place…
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    Go Easy at First

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight…
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    New Duct Tape

    I was with my eldest son one day, driving around town in my old Toyota pickup, when…
  • veterinarian

    Lock Jaw

    In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian.…
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    Signs You Are Broke

    1. American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!" 2. Your idea of a 7-course…

Flying into a Middle East airport, my co-pilot and I reviewed our flight plan for the trip back to the USS Enterprise. We were to pick up a Navy captain, and experience had taught me that even seasoned vets turn white-knuckled during carrier landings.

Once the captain was strapped in, I turned around to welcome him aboard. "Sir," I asked, "will this be your first carrier landing?"

Looking at me with disdain, he opened his inflatable vest to display gold wings above five rows of ribbons. "Son," he said, "I have over 500 carrier landings in jet fighters."

"That's good to hear," my co-pilot said, winking at me, "because this will be our first."

 

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