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More Jokes

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    Wake Up Call

    One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up call. The next morning, I awoke…
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    The Top 15 Lines You'll Never Hear in a Western

    15 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist."14 "Gentlemen, rather…
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    Bumper Stickers

    If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You Forget World Peace -- Visualize…
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    Dear Milkman…

    Dear Milkman..."Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one.""Please…
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    Photo Radar

    A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed…
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    Speeding Stories

    *PULLED OVER* "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the…
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    Golf Lesson

    This fellow's wife was constantly nagging him to teach her to play golf. Finally, one…
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    Approval Letter

    After trying a new shampoo for the first time, Dewey mailed off an enthusiastic letter of…
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    Lumberjack

    A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, "I need a job and I think…
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    Green Side Up

    A woman wants the inside of her house painted and she calls a contractor in to help her.…
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    Just Visiting Here

    The tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to the girl and made a disparaging…
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    Need a Pen?

    A patient at the dental office where I was a receptionist stopped by my desk to pay her…
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    Dad Value

    A father and his small son were standing in front of the tiger's cage at the zoo. The…
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    Priory Priority

    The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of…
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    Why Ask Why

    *Why Ask Why*Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and…

Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses.
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They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.

I was working smarter - not harder.

Whew!  I must have left the top off the whiteout.

I wasn't sleeping!  I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!

This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

I'm in the management training program.

I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP).
I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

Darn!  Why did you interrupt me?  I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

The coffee machine is broken....

Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.

Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off.

Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!

I wasn't sleeping.  I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.

The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.

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