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More Jokes

  • preacher2

    Hurry Home

    It has to be confessed that the minister was rather long-winded. During his sermon a…
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    Ah, Newlyweds

    There are never any secrets! A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached,…
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    You Know You Are From Arizona When

    You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You can endure 110 degrees without…
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    Charm School 101

    At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm…
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    Tea Service

    One day my mother was out and my dad was looking after me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old…
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    Keeping Warm

    (switch this one around to suit your favourite/favorite make) Chevy has added wires to…
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    Other Uses for Fruitcake

    1. Paint a few white and place them outside on the grass so people won't park on your…
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    Elderly Couple Sharing

    A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that…
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    Think!

    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…
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    Punishment Withheld

    Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also…
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    Abstract Noun

    "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch…
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    Suffering Vanity

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…
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    Computer Cup Holder

    A friend of mine was on the phone with a tech rep from another company. That tech rep…
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    Gnashing of Teeth

    A preacher of the old school was describing the events of Judgement Day and, of course,…
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    Mom's Time Out

    My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was…

Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of these excuses.
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They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.

This is just a 15 minute power nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.

I was working smarter - not harder.

Whew!  I must have left the top off the whiteout.

I wasn't sleeping!  I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!

This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!

I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance.

I'm in the management training program.

I'm actually doing a Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP).
I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.

This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about work!

Darn!  Why did you interrupt me?  I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.

The coffee machine is broken....

Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.

Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off.

Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!

I wasn't sleeping.  I was trying to pick up my contact lens without my hands.

The mail courier flipped out and pulled a gun so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.

Gosh, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.

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