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  • baptism

    Signs of A Bad Baptismal Service

    *Top Ten Signs You are At a Bad Baptismal Service* 10. The Coast Guard is involved. 9.…
  • Owl Jokes

    Owl Friend

    Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl - and one night,…
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    But Daddy

    My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-improvement store.Madison got…
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    Caught Sleeping

    Just in case your boss catches you asleep at your desk, be ready to blurt out one of…
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    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
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    Professional Animal Trainer

    As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit.…
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    Where's Mommy

    One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he…
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    Two Feet

    A teenager was always asking his father if he could borrow the family car. Pushed to the…
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    CD Sleeves

    My daughter Lili was five when she received a foam CD holder with plastic sleeves for all…
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    Sisters at the Superbowl

    Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the…
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    Parking Lot Stay

    I pulled into the crowded parking lot at a Super Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolled down…
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    Young Love

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Gators!

    While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim,…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
  • passenger window on plane

    Popping Ears

    Aboard a flight from L.A. to New York, Grandma Esther was taking her very first flight.…

centipedeA guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house. He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to a restaurant to have a meal.

So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a bite to eat?" But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going out and having a snack with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time - this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, he said, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go get some food with me?

A tiny little voice came out of the box:

"I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."

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