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    Procrastinator's Creed

    1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already. 2. I shall…
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    Cat Prayer

    Cat PrayerNow I lay me down to sleep,I pray this cushy life to keep.I pray for toys that…
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    Newlywed Compromise

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    Goober at Interview

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    Day of Thanksgiving

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    Modern Day Proverbs

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    Top Ten Signs You're in for a Long Sermon

    10. There's a case of bottled water beside the pulpit in a cooler. 9. The pews have…
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    Friendship Poems

    Are you tired of those Sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never…
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    New Flavor?

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    Typing Test

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    Stern Announcement

    During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and…
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    Refueling

    Once my wife and I had to take a flight that had 4 other stops before arriving at the…
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    College Laundry

    My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He…
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    Pants Dilemma

    A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel…
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    Crash Report

    As he reviewed pilot crash reports, my Air Force military science professor stumbled upon…

The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified as either "Running" or "No Start." On the block was a No Starter. It had a shattered windshield, two missing tires, a sagging front bumper, a cockeyed grille, a hood that was sprung up at an angle, and dings and dents all over the body.

Before he started the bidding, the auctioneer announced the car's year, make, and model, and then read the owner's comments: "Please note - the radio does not work."

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