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    Applause

    A famous football coach was on vacation with his family in Maine. When they walked into a…
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    Know Your States

    The old pastor made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked…
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    Exercise Routine

    Here's the exercise program I am using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    Trip Tickets

    Mr. and Mrs. Frobisher had just reached the airport in the nick of time to catch the…
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    Red Light - Green Light

    Ralph and his friend were driving through town when they came to a red light. Cruising…
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    Used Lawn Mower

    A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard…
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    Will She Say Yes?

    An extremely wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and…
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    Dinosaur Highway

    A goober was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the…
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    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…
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    Don't Smoke

    A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a…
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    4 Year Ceiling

    A young woman, pursuing a graduate degree in art history, was going to Italy to study the…
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    Number Eighteen

    A first-time prisoner is placed in his cell with a cellmate. Before long it is time for…
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    Check Your Bill

    A corporate executive received a monthly bill from the law firm that was handling a big…
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    Weddings and Funerals

    Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling…
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    Words and Questions From the Wise

    *Words and Questions From the "Wise"* I intend to live forever. So far, so good. If…

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children.

The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two O's.

He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show), . . . you get the idea.

One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

"So vat's the problem?" Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. "Perhaps nothing," he said, "but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 O's, but your signature of record has just 2."

Greenberg looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry about making trouble," he said, "but my vife said that since I'm now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!"

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