More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Teapot Computer

    The secretary in our mental-health clinic chose a new screensaver -- a picture of a…
  • Default Image

    Coffee Vending Machine

    A man put his fifty cents in a vending machine and watched helplessly while the cup…
  • Default Image

    Ah, Mozart

    A married couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The…
  • Default Image

    Away Messages

    When you are out of the office, here are some away messages to use:1. Thank you for your…
  • Default Image

    New Car Warning

    A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant to allow his wife to drive his…
  • Default Image

    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
  • Default Image

    Good Guess

    The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the pre-school teacher in…
  • Default Image

    Tired Son

    A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back…
  • Default Image

    Lost Money

    The receptionist found some cash in the office, apparently mislaid by a co-worker. She…
  • Default Image


    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
  • Default Image

    Retirement At The Inn

    Why didn't somebody tell me?With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching…
  • Default Image

    New Passport Photo

    Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old…
  • Default Image

    Flower Request

    "I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums. Could you…
  • Default Image

    Knee Tattoo

    A hospital corpsman and I were getting an elderly retired master chief petty officer out…
  • Default Image

    Instructions for Microsoft's New TV Dinner

    You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honour…

gravestonesBrad and Mike are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. Much of their relationship is based on pragmatism rather than real friendship or personal affection.

One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Mike opens the morning paper and turns to the obituaries page.

He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column.

He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier, was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database.

It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Brad up.

"Brad, are you up yet?" asks Mike.

Brad sleepily answers, "Yeah, but I'm only now starting my coffee."

"Brad, open the newspaper to page 31."

"Why, what's in the paper?"

"Brad, get the paper and open it to page 31 NOW!"

"Ok, Ok, I've got the paper here, so what's in page 31?"

"Brad, open the paper to page 31 already!"

"All right, don't be such a pain so early in the morning already. So, what's on page 31 that's so important?"

"Brad, look at the bottom of column 4."

"Why? What's that story on?"

"Brad, read the story on the bottom of the column already!"

"OK, OK, I'll start reading the column if you stop yelling in my ear!"

The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues.

Finally, Brad comes on the line quietly and fearfully asks, "So Mike, where are you calling me from right now?"

Powered By JFBConnect