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    Canine Complex

    A man walked into the office of the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Heidberg, and sat down to…
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    Fishy Dinner

    A friend hosted a dinner party for people from work and everyone was encouraged to bring…
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    Lawyer Light Bulb Completion

    So many of you threatened to sue me if I didn't supply the end of yesterday's CleanLaugh,…
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    Sharon's Shampoo

    Hi, pastor Tim! This is a story of something I did to myself not too long ago. I live in…
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    Visiting Friends

    Hush-A-Bye Buddy(Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby)Hush-A-Bye BuddyIn our guest roomIt's been…
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    Sponge Mistake

    In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last…
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    Perfectly Made

    When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds…
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    Goober Computer Virus

    You have just received the Goober Computer Virus.Because we don't know how to program…
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    Modern Day Proverbs

    ON DEEP THOUGHTS A day without sunshine is like night. ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    Ironic Call

    One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him…
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    Blood Flow

    A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter…
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    A Dog's Diary

    5:30am: Started the day as a hero! When the sound of the newspaper hitting the driveway…
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    Gift Diamonds

    Morris ran into Jacob while shopping at the mall the other day in front of one of the…
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    Will To Remember

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: "To…

footballChristian Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

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