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    Next Pastor

    Rev. Jones shocked the congregation when he announced his resignation from the church and…
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    Marine Comeback

    During mail call one evening at Marine Corps boot camp, I received several letters from…
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    Shakey's Cure

    Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I`ve got trouble. Every time I get into…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    *Elf Pet Peeves*7. Toil for 364 days a year just to make children smile and no one gives…
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    Dead Seagull

    A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him,…
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    Cat's Guide For Human Care

    More Excerpts from "The Cat's Guide To Caring For Your Human. Cats are beautiful,…
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    Spa First Day

    A woman joined a health spa, and on her first day eagerly joined in an exercise class.…
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    Second Wave

    While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the…
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    Crate of Chickens

    The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had…
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    Goober 2 by 4s

    A couple of goobers in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of them walked into…
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    Pupil's Question

    A young pupil asked, "Master, what is fate.""Ah, my son, it is what has brought great…
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    Goober Jokes Galore!

    What do you call an eternity? Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop. Why do…
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    Three-Sixty 727

    The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a…
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    Preacher Tow

    The minister's car wouldn't start and he called the garage to come and tow it in for…
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    Head Check

    One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her six-year-old nephew when he…

footballChristian Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

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