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  • lincoln memorial

    Abe Lincoln's Age

    A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the…
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    The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

    Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
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    Drag Racing Moped

    A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Turbo Z123DX. It is the…
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    Golf Hole

    A young minister and Mr. Sims, an elderly parishioner, were playing golf. The minister's…
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    Goober Diagnosis

    A Goober felt sick and decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examining him said, 'Well,…
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    Methuselah Diet

    Methuselah ate what he found on his plateAnd never, as people do nowDid he note the…
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    More Newspaper Bloopers

    Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on "Destructive Pests". A…
  • boy

    First Date Nerves

    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks…
  • usa map

    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
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    Phonetic Hymn Title

    Many hymnals have a hymn called "Gladly the Cross I'd Bear."It seems that one week when…
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    Three Gifts

    Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. They discussed the gifts they…
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    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…
  • pond

    Wet Clothes

    Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing up, her one son gave her…
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    Country Boys

    These two country boys, brothers, were knocking around one lazy summer day and thought it…

footballChristian Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

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