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    Snack Costs

    My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor…
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    Dear Milkman…

    Dear Milkman..."Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one.""Please…
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    Why Teachers Go Gray

    These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools in the Huntsville,…
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    Realistic Fishing Proverb

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    Dispatch Message

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    Do It Yourself

    When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a…
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    Remembering Names

    When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their…
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    Headlines from 2050

    *Headlines from 2050* Florida to Be Re-admitted to Union Plague of Spotted Owls Threaten…
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    Haircut ID

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    Clumsy Ad Copy

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    Sunday Compliment

    The minister gave his Sunday morning service, as usual, but this particular Sunday, it…
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    Salesman Stop By

    One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie…
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    Gorilla Sundae

    A gorilla walked into a drugstore and ordered a $1.50 chocolate sundae. He put a…
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    Oily Hair

    Trying to control my dry hair, I treated my scalp with olive oil before washing it.…
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    Lost Over Washington State

    A helicopter was flying around above Washington State yesterday when an electrical…

footballChristian Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

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