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    Signs You May Be Canadian

    SIGNS THAT YOU MAY BE CANADIAN 1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines. 2. You…
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    Clumsy Ad Copy

    - No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really…
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    Yale Educated

    (Wondering what a goober is? You can see one here.) The bank manager noticed the new…
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    Bob's Lesson

    Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob went straight over to…
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    Servicemen Foot Race

    Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out…
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    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Charity Auction

    The auto auction I attended was selling cars to benefit charity. Vehicles were classified…
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    Excuse Me Driver

    A guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the…
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    Dining Problem

    Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's…
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    Winter House

    We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was…
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    $0.00

    In March 1992 a man living in Newtown near Boston Massachusetts received a bill for his…
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    75 Stories

    Fred, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the…
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    Cave Soliciting

    Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing.…
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    Red, White and Blue

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    Late For Class

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footballChristian Football

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Half-time - The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.

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