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More Jokes

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    Know Your Friends

    One day, a little boy visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an…
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    Rodentially Clean

    Johnny, age 5, was being taught to be neat and clean and to pick up after himself. One…
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    Ready, Set, Go

    Two campers, Chris and Michael, are awakened by the sounds of an obviously large bear…
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    Larger Than 20

    A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our…
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    Deputy Goober

    The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Goober - who was not exactly the sharpest…
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    Letters of Recommendation

    If you have to write a "letter of recommendation" for a fired employee, here are a few…
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    Keeping Warm

    (switch this one around to suit your favourite/favorite make) Chevy has added wires to…
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    State of the Pastor

    The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the parish school one day a week.He walked…
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    Committee Praise

    The new pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship…
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    IRS Call

    When the minister picked up the phone, Special Agent Struzik from the IRS was on the…
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    Proper Attire

    Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that…
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    Turkey Size

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one…
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    Where's God?

    Two brothers in a small town were well-known as trouble makers. If there was a problem in…
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    In the Fitting Room

    My girlfriend took her five-year-old daughter shopping with her. The little girl watched…

From the church dictionary:

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:

1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health cover.

2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most Churches.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who "don't" know the seating capacity of a pew!!

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