logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Church Dictionary

From the church dictionary:

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:

1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health cover.

2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most Churches.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who "don't" know the seating capacity of a pew!!

Powered By JFBConnect

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Chinese Knitting

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed…
  • Default Image

    Nabbed

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
  • military inspection

    Change Reply

    Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw…
  • Default Image

    Military Intials

    When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary…
  • Default Image

    Zoo Sign

    Although fun to visit, zoos do pose certain perils. But to whom? A sign posted in the…
  • Default Image

    Missing Church

    Two men were fishing on a lake, feeling guilty that it was a Sunday morning, that they…
  • Default Image

    Collectable Receipts

    An woman went to traffic violation court for speeding, lost the argument as it always…
  • Default Image

    Inferior Bags

    It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large…
  • Default Image

    Top 10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing

    -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came…
  • Default Image

    Classmate Reunion

    While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed…
  • usa map

    Mr. Jones Is History

    Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal, made it a practice to visit the classes from…
  • Default Image

    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…
  • Default Image

    Johnny Hollers

    Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out, "Okay everyone…
  • Default Image

    Ammunition Substantiation

    An infantry brigade was training in the summer heat, learning methods to counter…
  • Default Image

    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…