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More Jokes

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    House Points

    "This house," said the real estate salesman, "has both its good points and its bad…
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    Sleeping Juror

    A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said: "Your honor,…
  • Tourist asks cabbie if Israel is really a healthy country.

    Healthy Tourism

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Israel. In an airport taxi cab, Peterson…
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    The Difference Between Men and Women

    This is a Dave Barry item. Do not use in your book.********** Let's say a guy named Fred…
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    Bystander

    Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
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    Nervous Preacher

    A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous and about ten minutes…
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    Zookeeper's Dilemma

    A zookeeper wanted to get some extra animals for his zoo, so he decided to compose a…
  • doctor4

    Seconds First

    A young woman wasn't feeling well and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician.…
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    It Might Be Cleaner

    After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled,…
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    Jack's Will

    Jack has died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's last will…
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    Dangling Participles

    Dangling Participle Alert!~ The burglar was about 30 years old, white, 5' 10", with wavy…
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    It's Not A Cat

    It's not a cat it's...A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist.A wildlife control…
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    Hair Mission

    In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a…
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    Parking Solution

    A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the…
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    Committee Praise

    The new pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship…

From the church dictionary:

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:

1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health cover.

2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most Churches.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who "don't" know the seating capacity of a pew!!

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