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More Jokes

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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    How's My Driving?

    I decided to stop worrying about my teenage son's driving and take advantage of it.I got…
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    Car Moving

    It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the…
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    Leaky Pipe

    A lady answered her front door to find a plumber standing there. "I'm here to fix the…
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    Boy or Girl

    Man: "Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a…
  • auto mechanic1

    On The Ball Mechanic

    My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound…
  • taxi-zone-sign

    Taxi Grad

    A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his…
  • crowd

    Poor Dad

    A father worked as an accountant for the Air National Guard. Despite a regular adequate…
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    Restroom Bugs

    I took my granddaughter to church camp for the first time last weekend. Behind the…
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    Windy Walk

    So George goes out on a really windy night to walk over and visit his friend Sam, who is…
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    Kid Say

    The best laughs I have known in life have been from my own children. I have captured…
  • lawn ornament mis-hap

    Apology

    A customer at the counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
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    Birthday Surprise

    A husband went to buy a birthday gift for his wife. Some friends had been invited over…
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    Three Red Lights

    Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Neither could barely see over the…

From the church dictionary:

AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN: 1. Parish information, read only during the homily.

CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation's range.

INCENSE: Holy Smoke!

JONAH: The original "Jaws" story.

JUSTICE: When kids have kids of their own.

MAGI: The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:

1. Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph didn't have private health cover.

2. The Biblical proof that holiday travel has always been rough.

PEW: A medieval torture device still found in most Churches.

USHERS: The only people in the parish who "don't" know the seating capacity of a pew!!

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