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    Doctor Quotes

    The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by…
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    Private Peters

    The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training…
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    Turtle Keeper

    Martin was a slow worker and found it difficult to hold down a job. After a visit to the…
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    Diet Skipping

    Mr. Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat…
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    Putting the Cat Out

    A couple is going out for an evening on the town.When they are almost ready to go, the…
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    Smart Chauffer

    When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found…
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    What's it Take?

    "What do you have to do to become a doctor?" my six-year-old granddaughter once asked.Her…
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    Chicken Recovery

    A farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chickens his father had…
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    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:

    You Know You've Been Out of College Too Long When:* Your potted plants stay alive.* 6:00…
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    Politically Correct Statements for a New Century

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded…
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    Moose Hunters

    Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good…
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    Murphy’s Laws of Parenting

    - The later you stay up, the earlier your child will wake up the next morning. - The…
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    Animal Race Stats

    Some racehorses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
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    City Preacher

    Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn.…

During basic army training, a sergeant was telling his group how a submachine gun sprayed bullets. He drew a circle on a blackboard and announced that it had 260 degrees.

“But, sergeant, all circles have 360 degrees,” remarked one of the trainees.

“Don’t be stupid,” the sergeant roared. “This is a small circle.”

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