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    Lobster Tails

    A guy was down on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco when he saw a seafood restaurant and…
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    Doctor's Advice

    A 92 year-old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw…
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    School Daze

    It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from…
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    A Touch of Home

    Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to add a touch of my home…
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    Temperance River

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had…
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    Battle Hymn of Term Finals

    Mine eyes have seen the horrorOf the ending of the termIt has poisoned all my spiritsLike…
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    Forgive Your Enemies

    The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a…
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    New Librarian

    The new librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the…
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    Police Report

    A motorist collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the police report were: Q -…
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    Cool In The Desert

    Two guys met in the middle of the desert. One was carrying a car door, the other an…
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    Ice Capades

    A mother's four-year-old daughter was attending her first performance of the Ice Capades.…
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    Location Question

    Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into…
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    Proposal Condition

    Kurt was going out with a nice girl and finally popped the question. "Will you marry me,…
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    Weight For Help

    Somewhat skeptical of his son's new found determination to become Charles Atlas, the…
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    Airport Security

    Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to…

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.

During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty on the line. Will you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!"

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