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More Jokes

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    Burglary

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    Choking Fee

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    Doctor's Orders

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    Two Feet

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    Military Haircut

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    Mail Problems

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    Thanksgiving Blessing

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    Real 911 Calls

    Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots…
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    Funny Answering Machines

    "Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very…
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    Add Some Fun To Life

    Add Some Fun To Life Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'. Page yourself…
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    Meet Me For Lunch

    The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining…
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    Freezer Order

    I have my own system for labeling homemade freezer meals.Forget calling them "Veal…
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    Medical Opinions

    A patient complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them…
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    Safe Keeping

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
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    ESP Banking

    Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he…

Heard by the computer help desk:

A customer couldn't get on the Internet:

Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"

Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."

Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"

Customer: "Five stars."

______

Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"

Customer: "A white one."

______



Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."

Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"

Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."

Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."

Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry..."

______

Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of the screen."

Customer: "Your left or my left?"

______

Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?"

Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."

Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."

Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"

______

Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find it."

______

Customer: "I have problems printing in red."

Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"

Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."

______

Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."

Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"

Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."

Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."

Customer: "Okay."

Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"

Customer: "Yes."

Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?"

Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one works!"

______

Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'."

Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"

______

Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"

Customer: "Netscape."

Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."

Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."

______

Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screensaver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!"

______

Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"

Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."

Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"

Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?"

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