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More Jokes

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    You're not a kid anymore when....

    You're not a kid anymore when....1. You're asleep but others worry that you're dead.2.…
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    Bear Hunting

    Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for…
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    10 Questions

    Our local paper runs a popular column called "10 Questions" that spotlights people who…
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    School Recommendation

    When I went with my daughter to visit a prestigious university, our student guide pointed…
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    Library Confusion

    The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the…
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    Meet the Parents

    A young man looking to get married asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my…
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    Happy Birthday Grandpa

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
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    Goober Travel Times

    A Goober gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Overdue at the Movies

    Tired from waiting for their overdue baby, my daughter and her husband broke the monotony…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    Do You Have?

    A woman walks into a convenience store. She walks straight to the manager and asks, "Do…
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    Parachute Training

    While attending US Army's Airborne School.....The Day before our first jump, the…
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    If Dr. Seuss Wrote for Star Trek: The Next Generation

    Picard: Sigma Indri, that's the star,So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
Computer One-liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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