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More Jokes

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    Rewiring

    Because our former small-town parish was not a wealthy one, our pastor was dependent on…
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    The Haircut

    A young man had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister,…
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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
  • computer keyboard

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer

    Signs you aren't very competent with a computer: - You've backed-up your desktop by…
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    Goober Puzzle

    One morning this goober calls her friend and says "Please come over and help me. I have…
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    Sponge Mistake

    In the doctors office two patients are talking."You know, I had an appendectomy last…
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    Caught on the Job

    The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 A.M. He did his best for a while, but at…
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    Bar Room Houdini

    A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance"…
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    Goober & Cell Phone

    A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first…
  • puppies

    Puppy Mark

    An effusive client brought a litter of puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations…
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    Church Hopping

    A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a…
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    Waist Deep

    While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop,…
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    The Night of Thanksgiving

    And after all is said and done.....the kitchen cleaned up, the football game is over, the…
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    George W. meets Moses

    George W. Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a…
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    Fish Heads

    A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and…
Computer One Liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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