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More Jokes

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    Quips to Ponder

    If your life takes a turn for the worse, remember that you are the one who is driving! My…
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    Doctor's Orders

    Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment. Don't you know that nervous…
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    Mrs. Hunter Jury Duty

    Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't…
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    Old Dodge

    A man was driving along in his beat up old dodge, when suddenly it broke down. He was…
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    Job Search Woe

    Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure…
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    John Will Be Fine

    The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his…
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    Good Robbery

    The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.…
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    SPCA Rescue

    "Hello, hello?" shrilled a spinsterish voice over the phone. "Is this the SPCA?""Yes.""I…
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    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
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    Caught in the Act

    I was playing tooth fairy when my daughter, Marina, suddenly woke up. Seeing the money in…
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    Goober Border Patrol

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:…
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    Job Impressions

    I had always talked about my job a lot at home, and my young daughter had always…
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    Exam By Chance

    A young student reports for a final examination that consists of only true/false type…
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    Better Trainer

    A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of…
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    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
Computer One-liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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