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More Jokes

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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…
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    Ring Appraisal

    An acquaintance of mine whose daughter was about to be married decided to give her a…
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    Famous Last Words

    * Don't turn it on yet, it's not quite ready.* Step back a bit, I can't get you in the…
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    Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    E-mail Problem

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
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    Delivery Suspicion

    There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened the…
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    Baby Wrap

    Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their…
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    Station Help

    An elderly man was standing in front of the ticket office in Grand Central Station. A…
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    Rules for Editing

    Some of you have noticed a few typos in the CleanLaugh list now and then. To improve this…
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    CD Entrance

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…
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    Windy Walk

    So George goes out on a really windy night to walk over and visit his friend Sam, who is…
  • picture of a grandfather

    Grandpa's Manners

    "Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish young lady. "What's to be proud of?"…
  • bride and groom

    Number Married

    I just read a report that stated that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't…
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    Wakeup Fight

    Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to…
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    More Strange Warnings

    Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product…
Computer One Liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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