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More Jokes

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    Rare Steak

    A cattle rancher went into town on a Saturday night for a sit-down steak dinner. When the…
  • Poorly worded ad causes trouble.

    Sewing Machine Ad

    The following is an ad from a newspaper which appeared four days in a row - the last…
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    Parrot Attitude

    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an…
  • woman

    The Mystery Of Women

    I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Message Break

    A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle…
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    Happy Birthday Call

    A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then…
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    Looking For Mike

    After directory assistance gave Glenda her boyfriend's new telephone number, she dialed…
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    Catfish Fishing

    Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his…
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    Library Lost and Found

    Arriving back at the dorm late one evening, my roommate explained that she had gotten…
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    Swallowed a Coin

    The kid had swallowed a coin and it got stuck in his throat, and his mother ran out in…
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    How Was I Born?

    A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well,…
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    Graceless at Grandma's

    Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.…
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    List Management

    Here is the list member's response - which is today's CleanLaugh.First the explanation…
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    More One-liners

    I can see clearly now, the brain is gone... Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay. Madness…
Computer One-liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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