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More Jokes

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    Major League Snacks

    I took my son to his first Major League baseball game when he was four. The game was…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
  • stork

    How Was I Born?

    A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" "Well,…
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    Joining the Church

    After the service a young couple talked to the pastor about joining the church. I hadn't…
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    Kids In Church

    Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.…
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    Bananas

    As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where I work, I ask the patients if…
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    Silly Q&A

    Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?He's all right…
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    New Car

    The first Sunday after my husband and I bought a new car, we parked it in the last row of…
  • picture of a winter cabin

    Trapper's Stove

    An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern…
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    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
  • frog love

    Things Not To Say To On Date

    Things Not To Say To On Date * I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I…
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    "Grace"ous Host

    A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old…
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    Diary Secrets

    A little boy asked his mother, "What's that you're reading?"A diary.What's in it?I can't…
  • doctor4

    Exercise Pill

    "I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient who…
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    Wire Backup

    One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I emerged from a restaurant only to find that he…
Computer One-liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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