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More Jokes

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    Remembering Names

    When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their…
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    Eulogy

    The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked…
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    Ladder Borrow

    My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when…
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    City Preacher

    Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn.…
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    Sermon Follow-Up

    A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To…
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    Hearing Test

    A man goes to his doctor and says "I don't think my wife's hearing is as good as it used…
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    Winter in Wisconsin

    It's winter in WisconsinAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hourAt 52 below! Oh, how…
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    The Importance of Correct Punctuation

    We've all been told how important it is to use correct punctuation. Well, here is a…
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    Attendance Sermons

    A man who hadn't attended church in years suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday…
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    Three Rules

    One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to…
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    Insurance Claims

    These are from insurance forms in which drivers were asked to explain their disasters in…
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    ATM Correction

    My father began teaching business classes at the local prison through a community…
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    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
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    Friendly Golf

    Two friends were beginning a game of golf.The first man stepped up to the tee, hit the…
Computer One-liners - Part 2

ISDN: I Still Don't kNow

ISDN: Idiot Services you Don't Need

It said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!

Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.

Manual Writer's Creed: Garbage in, gospel out.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

MIPS: Meaningless Indicator of Processor Speed.

Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.

My computer NEVER cras@#%^TU*NO CARRIER

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

Nerd: someone on the Dork Side of the Farce.

Network: anything reticulated or decussated at equal intervals, with interstices between the intersections.

Never trust a computer you can't lift. - Stan Masor

Never trust a computer you can't throw out the window. - S. Hunt

Old programmers never die; they just give up their resources.

One person's error is another person's data.

One picture is worth 128K.

Our system is very reliable. Nothing ever goes wr[}\-_+=~'{?>.(#$%{!`'?;f;fkj;uiutoiun;gt;to;g;g;t

PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
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