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More Jokes

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    Apples for Teachers

    There are about 50 million American children enrolled in elementary school and high…
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    One Parachute

    You are one of "two" people on a malfunctioning airplane with only one parachute. How…
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    Gift Excitement

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very…
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    Methuselah Diet

    Methuselah ate what he found on his plateAnd never, as people do nowDid he note the…
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    No Frills Airlines

    ...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the…
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    Hymns For Professionals

    DENTIST: Crown Him with many crownsCONTRACTORS: The church's one foundationOBSTETRICIANS:…
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    Penguin Breakdown

    There was this truck driver who had to deliver five hundred penguins to the state zoo. As…
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    Verbalized Prayers

    The pastor of a mid-sized church decided one Monday morning that the staff would…
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    No Pets Allowed

    Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a…
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    Goobers Fishing

    Three goobers are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in…
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    Game Time

    A father took his five-year-old son to several baseball games where The Star-Spangled…
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    Clunker Leak

    As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One…
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    Tim Robbed

    One night, Tim was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Tim and the…
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    Repeat Position

    A lifeboat was called out to rescue a yacht in trouble. The coastguard, trying to get the…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
Computer One-liners - Part 3

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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