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    Eye Contact

    A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her…
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    Chair Philosophy

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    Chapstick

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    Bricklayer's Insurance Claim

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    Dog Growth

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    Need Help?

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    Power Lesson

    A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings…
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    Finally

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    Prescription

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    6 Legged Turkey

    An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
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    Thesaurus Collision

    Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New…
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    Morning Tea

    Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church.One day, his father told Little…
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    The Turkey Shot Out Of The Oven

    The turkey shot out of the ovenand rocketed into the air,it knocked every plate off the…
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    Goober Operator

    My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. When I called, the…
Computer One Liners - Part 3

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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