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More Jokes

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    Speeding Juggler

    A driver was pulled over for speeding by a police officer. As the officer was writing the…
  • jogger

    What Time Is It?

    A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his destination. He…
  • football

    Christian Football

    Christian Football Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the…
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    Shopping On Up

    In a upscale department store, every night at closing time one of our customer-service…
  • barber pole

    Duelling Barbers

    A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established…
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    Cowboy Joe goes to Church

    Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a…
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    Upset Wagon

    It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…
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    Card Name

    Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va.,…
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    In the Bag

    I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on…
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    Bedtime Attire

    Frequent hand washing in my job as a medical technologist and the harsh weather combined…
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    New Brain Study

    A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that…
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    Pillar Interruption

    The Sunday School teacher described how Lot's wife looked back at Sodom and was turned…
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    Out of Fuel

    Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger…
  • abc blocks

    The ABC Song

    Customer: “Hey, can you help me find this book?” Me: “Sure.” (He holds up a piece of…
Computer One-liners - Part 3

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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