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    Healthy Life

    In the smoking-car the conversation turned to the merits and demerits of various ways of…
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    Doctor's Advice

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    Lost In Canada

    An American and his wife were driving in Canada and got lost on the prairie. After what…
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    New Medical Technology

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    Tracing Family

    Dear Abby:I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I can't afford to…
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    CIA, FBI & LAPD

    The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove…
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    Longevity Answer

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    Laundry Comments

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    Puppy Love

    For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
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    Hearing Problems

    An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Size 8 Shoes

    A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of shoes, size 8. The obviously well…
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    Prison Sentence

    Jimmy was sent to prison for his crimes but he told the warden he wasn't worried at all…
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    Golf course, may I help you?

    Staff: Golf course, may I help you? Caller: What are your green fees? Staff: 38 dollars.…
Computer One-liners - Part 3

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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