More Jokes

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    Movie Impatience

    We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it…
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    Grasping Challenge

    When my daughter was about four years old, she still had a hard time grasping the concept…
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    Chemistry Stir

    This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A female student wished to…
  • shopping

    Color Blind

    Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted…
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    Need a Push

    A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over…
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    Dusty Comeback

    My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.One evening my dad returned home from work,…
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    Feeding the Baby

    My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice.…
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    Rare Bible

    A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away…
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    Deputy Goober

    The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Goober - who was not exactly the sharpest…
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    Abstract Noun

    "An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch…
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    Street Name

    "I'd like the number for Jennifer Smith in Richmond, Virginia," the young man said to the…
  • football

    Christian Football

    Christian Football Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the…
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    62nd Birthday

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…
  • thermometer

    How Cold is it?

    An annotated thermometer: (degrees Fahrenheit, then Celsius) +50 / +10* New York tenants…
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    More Bulletin Bloopers

    *More Bulletin Bloopers*The youth group has raised almost $500 for drug…
Computer One-liners - Part 3

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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