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More Jokes

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    Quickest Way to York

    A man approached a local person in a village he was visiting. "What's the quickest way to…
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    Jury Age

    Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice.…
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    Card Reader Instructions

    Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe…
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    Nervous Preacher

    A new preacher had just begun his sermon. He was a little nervous and about ten minutes…
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    Songs For People Over 40

    *Top 10 Songs for People Over 40* 10. Let's Get a Physical 9. Ain't No Burrito Mild…
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    Healthful Place

    Mr. Peterson, a tourist from Toronto, arrived in Barbados. In an airport taxi cab,…
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    Company Role Models

    My company had a successful year, and at the annual meeting, employees eagerly awaited…
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    10 Puns

    Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it…
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    Addicted to Thinking

    It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then to loosen up.…
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    Fishing Advice

    Two buddies are fishing, but they haven't caught anything all day. Then, another…
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    Reap What You Sow

    Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture…
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    Navy Shots

    While I'm not sure of the procedure now, when I was in the Navy, every so often, you got…
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    Speeding Ticket

    A lady who was speeding had an officer pull her to the side of the road. She didn't have…
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    Birthday-Anniversary

    A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a 'birthday/anniversary card.'…
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    Captain Comeback

    I worked in the biology department at Buffalo State College in New York. The Great Lakes…
Computer One-liners - Part 3

Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.

Programming is an art form that fights back.

RAM disk is not an installation procedure.

Real programs don't eat cache.

Remember the good old days, when CPU was singular?

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

Shift to the left! Shift to the right! Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

Smith & Wesson - The ultimate "Point-and-Click" Interface...

Some programming languages manage to absorb change but withstand progress.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

System going down at 5 pm to install scheduler bug.

System halted. Press Enter key to continue.

System has erased all work in progress. Press any key to ignore and continue.

System has violated data integrity. Delete all data? Y/y __

The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.

The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.

The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
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