logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • face stressed2

    A Brother Names the Babies

    A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C., (whose husband was out of the country) gets in a…
  • Default Image

    100 GB

    Experts warned today of a new and deadly threat to our beleaguered civilization: the…
  • Default Image

    Cowboy Joe goes to Church

    Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a…
  • Default Image

    Eating Out

    Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches…
  • Default Image

    What's Good Tonight?

    Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to…
  • Default Image

    Mint Mom

    When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become…
  • Default Image

    Deck Praise

    I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my…
  • Default Image

    Anesthesiologist Bill

    Margie received a bill from the hospital for her recent surgery, and was astonished to…
  • Default Image

    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…
  • Default Image

    Waking Up

    This week a man awoke from a coma that had lasted for 62 years. His first question was,…
  • Default Image

    Control and Escape

    The computer company my wife works for distributed a corporate clothing catalogue that…
  • Default Image

    Dog House Rules Progression

    1. Dogs are never permitted in the house. The dog stays outside in a specially built…
  • deer

    Hunting Prayer

    The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our…
  • Default Image

    Paul Top Ten

    TOP TEN THINGS THE APOSTLE PAUL WOULD HAVE DONE IF HE HAD A PC10. Download MP3's of the…
  • Default Image

    Eye Exam

    Eye-examination charts vary according to the manufacturer, but one thing they have in…

Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

*Note the word 'former' in the above statement!!


"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", "Went away?"....  "They disappeared?"

"Hmm.  So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind.  Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?"

......"Yes, I think so."

"Great!  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

......"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

......"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh.  Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No?  Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power...  A power outage?  Aha!  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good!  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really?  Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Powered By JFBConnect