logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Baby Talk

    What your baby would tell you if he could talk:1. I have my blankie, you have your…
  • Default Image

    Birth Wharp

    Stationed in Okinawa, Japan, my son and his wife were expecting their first baby. I was…
  • Default Image

    Rest Home Trial

    Aunt Mary, a spinster of 92, had finally consented to go to a rest home, but strictly on…
  • Default Image

    Workplace Insanity

    How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace…
  • Default Image

    Tourism Promotion

    Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this…
  • Default Image

    Think!

    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the…
  • Default Image

    New Apartment

    A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants…
  • Default Image

    Golf Hole

    A young minister and Mr. Sims, an elderly parishioner, were playing golf. The minister's…
  • Default Image

    Scout's Letter Home

    Dear Mom, Our scout master told us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on…
  • Default Image

    Proposal Reaction

    A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were…
  • Default Image

    Chicken Neighbour

    A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The…
  • Default Image

    18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek

    *18 Things That Never Happened On Star Trek*1. The Enterprise runs into a mysterious…
  • Default Image

    Goober Travelers

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: * I had someone ask for an…
  • Default Image

    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
  • Default Image

    Cookie Calories

    A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In…

Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

*Note the word 'former' in the above statement!!


"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.", "Went away?"....  "They disappeared?"

"Hmm.  So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind.  Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.  Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.  Can you see that?"

......"Yes, I think so."

"Great!  Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

......"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are.  I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

......"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh.  Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle-it's because it's dark."

"Dark?

"Yes-the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No?  Why not?"

"Because there's a power outage."

"A power...  A power outage?  Aha!  Okay, we've got it licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good!  Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it.  Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really?  Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose.  What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Powered By JFBConnect