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    Take Out For Lunch

    Planning a Christmas weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of things I needed to…
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    The Good Old Days

    Grandpa and Grandpa were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and…
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    Lost

    Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along…
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    Wedding Blessing

    At a wedding ceremony that I was performing, I raised my hand to give the final…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
  • A boy's perspective

    Johnny and Remembrance

    One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large…
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    Dark Parachute Jumps

    Nights in England are coal black, making parachute jumps difficult and dangerous. So we…
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    Second Try

    The insurance salesman, trying to start up a conversation with another fella said, "Who…
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    Stork Reunion

    A man took his little boy to the zoo for the very first time. Each time they would see a…
  • picture of a cell phone

    Translation Please

    A French guest, staying in a American hotel called room service for some pepper. "Black…
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    Goober Ice Fishing

    A goober wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally,…
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    Tax Forms

    It was April and Tax Day was looming when an elderly woman showed up at my desk at the…
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    Sunday Paper

    "Where's my Sunday paper?!" the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly…
  • circus

    Circus Try Out

    A man decides to join the circus. He shows up to demonstrate his skills to Morris, the…
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    Feeding Shamu

    At Sea World, our grandson absolutely refused to see the show featuring Shamu the killer…
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Backups! We don' NEED no steenking backups.
4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
E Pluribus Modem
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny
Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are
A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.
My software never has bugs. lt just develops undocumented features.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
<-------- The information went data way
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Best file compression around- "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium
BREAKFAST.COM Halted .. Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud, James Baud.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Access denied! Nah nah na na nah nah!
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk??
C:\Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
Ultimate office automation: Net-worked coffee.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'
Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?
All computers wait at the same speed.
Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Go ahead, make my data!
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender: Insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error! Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
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