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    Finch Flush

    When my youngest son was three years old, one of his finches died. It was winter so we…
  • couple old

    When Aging Reality Sets In

    1. Eventually, you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start…
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    Goober Guess

    This goober named Jed was walking down the road one day when he came across his friend,…
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    Morning Run

    The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a…
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    Charity Answer

    Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He…
  • bank

    Balance

    I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other…
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    Border Declaration

    Finishing up our work at a trade show in San Diego, my co-worker Maureen and I decided to…
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    Resume Help

    My husband, an auto mechanic, was looking for higher-paying work and asked me to write…
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    One Rifle Hunting

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Not Likely

    In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the…
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    What's Good Tonight

    Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to…
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    Incapacitated

    I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part…
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    Ten for Sure

    My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was…
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    Goober Coffee Maker

    The newlywed Goober went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received…
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    Password Problems

    A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her…
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
COFFEE.EXE missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Backups! We don' NEED no steenking backups.
4 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
E Pluribus Modem
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): Something used to catch the Etherbunny
Computers are not intelligent; they only think they are
A main-frame: The biggest PC peripheral available.
My software never has bugs. lt just develops undocumented features.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error-correcting
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C. (Y/N)?
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
<-------- The information went data way
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Best file compression around- "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium
BREAKFAST.COM Halted .. Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud, James Baud.
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
BUFFERS FILES 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
Access denied! Nah nah na na nah nah!
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk??
C:\Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!
Ultimate office automation: Net-worked coffee.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay!
RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
Why doesn't DOS ever say 'EXCELLENT'
Shell to DOS, Come in DOS, do you COPY?
All computers wait at the same speed.
Computer: A device designed to speed and automate errors.
Go ahead, make my data!
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
E-mail returned to sender: Insufficient voltage.
Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Error! Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Press any key... no, No, NO!! Not THAT one!
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