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    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
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    Parking Space Sign Language

    After driving up and down several lanes, I finally found a parking spot at the shopping…
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    Movie Seats

    After I had purchased movie tickets for myself and my girlfriend, she went inside to find…
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    Parrot Problems

    A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a…
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    Great Exercise Program

    Here's the exercise program I'm using to stay in shape this year. You might want to take…
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    4th Grade Experiment

    The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she…
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    Church Mice Problem

    Three pastors were having lunch together at a diner. The first pastor said, "Ya know,…
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    Lost, Found Changed

    A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest…
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    Visiting Friends

    Hush-A-Bye Buddy(Modified from Rock-A-Bye Baby)Hush-A-Bye BuddyIn our guest roomIt's been…
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    Charm School 101

    At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm…
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    Helpful Mechanic

    Sally told her friend, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was…
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    Kids View of Science

    *Kid's View of Science*Q: What is one horsepower?A: One horsepower is the amount of…
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    Hurry and Sign Up

    Dear Ma and Pa: I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army…
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    Note From Judge

    During court one busy day, the judge quietly passed the clerk a note reading: "Blind on…
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    Flight Attendant Trivia

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…

A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy personal attention and much advice, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said,

"When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section, "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

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