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    Temperance River

    A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had…
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    Mom's Special Brownies

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    Drug Shirt

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    Brave Firefighters

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    Fly Swatter

    A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly…
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    Top Ten Things You NEVER Want to Hear the Orkin Man Say

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    Flying Follies

    Each year, Chicago Center saves the top 20 excerpts from conversations between airline…
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    Deli Tax Return

    The owner of a small deli was being questioned by the IRS about his tax return. He had…
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    City Kids Camping

    Two boys from the city were on a camping trip. The mosquitoes were so fierce the boys had…
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    'Coons From Heaven

    MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga. (AP) - Brad Davis was training his puppy to pick up the scent of a…
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    A Few Fishing Definitions

    HOOK - (1) A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. (2) A clever advertisement used to…
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    Historical Application

    Steinberg needs a job, and has no qualms about inventing the necessary qualifications to…
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    Late For Class

    At the prestigious university there was a clear hierarchy that outlined how long one was…
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    Rice Preference

    The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of…
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    Leaving the Farm

    A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the…

A conductor was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He constantly gave this guy personal attention and much advice, but his performance simply didn't improve. Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said,

"When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section, "And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."

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