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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
  • turkey live

    All Pro Turkey

    The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey…
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    What is This?

    A Rabbi, a Priest and a Salvation Army pastor walk into a bar.The bartender says to them,…
  • picture of a winter cabin

    Trapper's Stove

    An engineer, a psychologist, and a theologian were hunting in the wilderness of northern…
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    'Coons From Heaven

    MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga. (AP) - Brad Davis was training his puppy to pick up the scent of a…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
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    Airline Rage

    As a guy takes his seat on an airplane, he is surprised to find a parrot strapped in next…
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    Out of Fuel

    Cessna: "Newark tower, Cessna 12345, student pilot, I am out of fuel."Tower: "Roger…
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    Robbie's Move

    Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new…
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    Before And After Falling In Love

    B - You take my breath awayA - I feel like I'm suffocating B - She says she loves the way…
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    No Gun Hunting

    There's this guy who shows up at a cabin where these hunters have gathered to hunt bear.…
  • Doctor helps wife with husband's snoring

    Financing Surgery

    A woman had a medical problem - her husband's snoring. So, she called the doctor one…
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    Aerobic Dismay

    Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s, I enrolled in an aerobics class. To my dismay I…
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    Raise Plea

    The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise…
  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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