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More Jokes

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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
  • The Seniors' Serenity Prayer

    Serenity for Seniors

    God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to…
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    Personalized Plate

    While waiting in line at the Department of Vehicle Services for my personalized license…
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    Another Virus Warning

    ***-- VIRUS WARNING --***Folks, I don't normally send out virus warnings, but this one is…
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    Looking For Barney

    A four year old was at the paediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her…
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    Sermon Overtime

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Patriotic Father

    On a recent trip to Washington, D.C., my brother-in-law overheard a patriotic father…
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    Scared vs. Apprehension

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    Beware of Bread

    A recent Cincinnati Enquirer headline read, "SMELL OF BAKED BREAD MAY BE HEALTH HAZARD."…
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    Herd Of Cows

    A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho," and went out walking with one of…
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    Newcomer Court

    "Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be…
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    Office Answering Message

    "Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's…
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    10 Minutes Alone

    After a day of grueling maneuvers under the blazing Texas sun, the platoon stood in front…
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    Conductor Problem

    The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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