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More Jokes

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    Daddy's Trick

    The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,"I'm so happy to see you…
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    Chute Error

    While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I…
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    Restaurant Return

    An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an…
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    One Hard Question

    There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.He was smart enough to…
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    Lost in the Woods

    Two hunters got lost in the woods. The first hunter said, "Don't worry. All we have to do…
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    Wacky Definitions

    Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!Gross ignorance: 144 times worse than normal…
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    Homilies To Live By

    Homilies To Live ByGive a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to…
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    Dad and Baby

    One day shortly after the birth of their new baby, the mother had to go out to do some…
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    The Congregation Replied

    Down in the south, there are many churches known as "answer back" churches. When the…
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    Accounting Secret

    There was once an accounting firm where the senior CPA knew everything there was to know…
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    Heavy Housework

    Smith goes to see his supervisor. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning…
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    Signs You've Chosen a "No Frills" Airline

    You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change. Before you take off, the…
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    Senate Comeback

    A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, exploded one day in…
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    Dusty Comeback

    My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.One evening my dad returned home from work,…
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    Signs of Banned Substances

    Signs That An Athlete Is Using A Banned Substance:Gets "psyched" before each competition…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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