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  • phone handheld 2

    Calls to Information Assistance

    Just a few decades ago, before the days of Google and online information, people would…
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    Cruise Questions

    Top Ten Silliest Questions asked on a Cruise Ship - Paul Grayson, Cruise Director for the…
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    Windy Walk

    So George goes out on a really windy night to walk over and visit his friend Sam, who is…
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    Serious Shopper

    I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just…
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    Dining Problem

    Everyone had weighed in, and our diet-workshop leader began her lecture on the week's…
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    Cleaning Job

    Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple.…
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    Wedding Dress Blues

    When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day…
  • children3

    Kid Quotes

    "Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."- Donna Maria G, age 9 "Laugh…
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    Class Reunions

    Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is…
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    Nice Boyfriend

    One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they…
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    Real Answers

    These, are real answers given by children.Q: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper,…
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    New Windows Error Messages

    Smash forehead on keyboard to continue. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.…
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    Did You See That?

    Tom and Darryl were out hunting deer. Tom asked, "Did you see that?" "No," Darryl…
  • curlers

    Hair Curlers

    My wife still uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. The other night she came into…
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    Kids In Church

    Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church.…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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