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    Dad Shopping

    In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with…
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    Late For Sunday School

    A young boy came to Sunday School late. His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt…
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    Wills Explained

    I was in my wills and trusts course when the professor posed this question to the…
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    Chinese Knitting

    Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed…
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    I'm a Moth

    A man walks into a dentist's surgery and says, "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a…
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    Parenthood

    If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!…
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    Worm Stubborn

    Little Josh was brought to Dr Gill cause he hadn't eaten anything for days. Dr Gill…
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    Dead Seagull

    A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him,…
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    Mule Solution

    A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left…
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    Audi Alteram Parten

    During a Law course class, the 'Audi Alteram Parten' rule was explained. Translated it…
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    Haircut ID

    I accompanied my husband when he went to get a haircut. Reading a magazine, I found a…
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    Pig Feed

    There was a farmer who had many pigs. One day someone went to the farm and asked the…
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    The Vending Machine

    A goober named Laura is at a local zoo and comes across a vending machine, which she has…
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    Free Paper

    My dry cleaner very generously gives each customer a free copy of the daily newspaper. As…
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    Why Parents Go Gray

    The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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