More Jokes

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    Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say

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    Free Will

    A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.…
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    Things to do when seeing Lord Of The Rings:

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?"2.…
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    Goober Crossing

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    First Things First

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $64,000 Question. The night before the…
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    Lost Ball

    My job as a land surveyor took me to a golf course that was expanding from 9 holes to 18…
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    Slow-Driving Grandma

    Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police…
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    Memory Clinic

    Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the…
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    Parrot Strings

    A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in…
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    Tips rejected by Martha Stewart

    Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and…
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    Computer One-liners - Part 1

    Computer One-liners - Part 1Hard Disk space: the final frontier!Hardware: The parts of a…
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    While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud case of hiccups. By…
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    Indiana Rainstorm

    After a hardy Indiana rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a…
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    Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual…
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    Vet Cure

    A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the…

Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId,"

and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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