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More Jokes

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    Hunting Pairs

    A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one…
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    Church Bulletin Bloopers

    The following have all genuinely appeared in church bulletins!* Next weekend's Fasting &…
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    Life and Death

    A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:"Remember, the first five minutes…
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    Minivan Tow

    A man was driving down the highway late one night when his mini-van broke down. He turned…
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    Yiddish Speak

    During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli…
  • parachute 82nd Airborne

    Airborne Recruiting

    After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could…
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    Perley Moore Buys a Truck

    There was a farmer, Perley Moore, who had recently bought a truck and found that the…
  • child sad

    Picnic Pains

    The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty during the week, that her…
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    Understanding Law

    During a Law course class, the 'Audi Alteram Partem' rule was explained. Translated it…
  • A funny joke about a dad and his son out fishing.

    Questions

    A man took his son fishing one day. After a few hours in the boat with not much to do,…
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    Trio of Puns

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous…
  • suitcases

    Travelling Too Light

    A joke from back in the day when people needed a paper ticket to board an airplane ... A…
  • Top ten dad joke

    Top 10 Things You'll Never Hear Dad Say

    10. Well, how 'bout that? I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.…
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    Army Fib

    While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old…
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    Password Problems

    A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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