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    Y zero K

    Message from: RomeJanuary 18, 1 BC Dear Cassius, Are you still working on the Y zero K…
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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    Whale Speak

    An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made.…
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    Insurance Check and Double Take

    Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer’s barn. While he surveyed the wreckage,…
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    Translated Golf

    An American was golfing at the Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland. He slices his opening…
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    Cat Allergy

    A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what…
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    Chet's Graduation

    It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Chet. At the…
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    Funny Boss

    The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a…
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    Busy Mom

    My busy mother sometimes accidentally left pots and pans on the stove with the burners…
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    Manservant

    Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next…
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    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
  • parrot

    Do Not Talk To My Parrot

    Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't…
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    Lariat Training

    More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to…
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    Penguin Zoo

    Did you hear about the man that had a pet penguin? Soon after he got his penguin, he was…
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    Geneology Question

    When my granddaughter, Ann, was 9-years-old, she was given an assignment by her teacher…

cookingTongue: a variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: a series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents.

The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: to turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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