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More Jokes

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    Prayer Positions

    Three ministers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman…
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    More On Candidates

    A newscaster interrupted scheduled programming to announce the outcome of a political…
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    Tournament Weather`

    Our pastor, an avid golfer, was once taking part in a local tournament. As he was…
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    Drug Shirt

    My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to…
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    Science Quotes from Kids - Part 1

    ~ One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one…
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    Clerk Problem

    In a department store, Sandra and a patient clerk were having a hard time getting…
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    Dog Applicant

    A sign was hung in an office window. It read: Help wanted. Must type 70 words a minute.…
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    Basic Training

    After about three weeks in basic training, my husband's unit was not measuring up to…
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    Divy It Up

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her…
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    Steeple Paint

    The church steeple in Port Gibson is very high, and was being painted on a rather hot…
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    Burglar and Vicar

    A burglar broke into a minister's house and told the pastor, "One move and you're dead.…
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    Enlisting Choices

    "Daddy," said my 11-year-old daughter, "I think I want to join the Army.""Baby," I…
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    Repair Call

    Bill was a frequent user of a pay telephone at a popular truck stop, and was greatly…
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    Beginning School

    Tommy had reached school age. His mother managed with a blast of propaganda to make him…
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    Exercise Classes

    I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing.If I *had*…

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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