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    Swanky Dining

    The couple entered the resort's swanky dining room. "I'm sorry," apologized the Maitre d,…
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    Crowded Bus

    It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my…
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    The Mystery Of Women

    I know I'm never going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take…
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    The Student Mind During Final Exams

    Contents of The Student Mind During Final Exams 10% The prof. never covered this section!…
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    The War of the Navels

    The War of the Navels People have navels of different kinds,Ineys and outeys, to that…
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    Restaurant Return

    An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an…
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    Vacation Time

    Jill had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview…
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    Tech Smoke

    A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.Tech: What's the…
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    Florida Hurricane Advice

    We're about to enter the peak of the hurricane season. Any day now, you're going to turn…
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    Suffering Vanity

    Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her…
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    Enemies in the West

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting."How are we…
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    Dear Dog

    Dear Dog,I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which…
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    Wheat Exports

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…
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    Play-Off Tickets

    A man goes to the Chicago Bear ticket office and inquires about purchasing play-off…
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    Three Day Silence

    My wife has not spoken to me in three days. I think it has something to do with what…

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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