More Jokes

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    Television Bloopers - British Style

    "Liz Taylor is recovering in hospital after having had a benign tuna removed from just…
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    New Car

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    Dispatch Message

    One night at McCord Air Force Base, I was dispatched to check out the security fence…
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    Rhymes and Tubes

    Our family was leaving on a two week vacation and so my preparations took me into the…
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    Shott Versus Nott

    A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott. Nott was shot and Shott was not.…
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    Need Help?

    I saw a billboard yesterday that said: Need help? Call Jesus.1-800-555-HELP Out of…
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    Goober Exam

    The Goober reported for her University final examination, which consisted of"yes/no" type…
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    Cheap Hearing Aid

    A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much…
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    Price Reduction

    Our minister announced that admission to a church social event would be six dollars per…
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    Fine Request

    A pickpocket was appearing in court for a series of petty crimes. "Mr. Brewster," the…
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    Goober Travelers

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: * I had someone ask for an…
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    Sunday School Trap

    The youth director had been trying for months to get the little boy down the street to…
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    Last Name Lineup

    On my first day in basic training, we were lined up in a row, each of us in turn having…
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    Chair Philosophy

    An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing…
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    Car Privileges

    David and Bernice had just given their teenage daughter family-car privileges. On…

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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