logo

sign-up-for-free-cybersalt-today-button

Cooking Terms

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

More Jokes

  • Default Image

    Liberal Headlines

    If Biblical Headlines were written by Today's Liberal…
  • Default Image

    Parenting Tip

    Mary Siegel was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best…
  • kitchen new

    Fiery Love

    Jolene had wanted new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they…
  • checkbook

    Checking Newbie

    Her teenage son was having trouble mastering the fine points of balancing his new…
  • empire state building

    Songs, Jokes, Sad Stories

    Three men worked in the Empire State Building on the 102nd floor. One day the elevator…
  • Default Image

    Leak Repair

    My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending…
  • Default Image

    Stolen Turkey

    Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I…
  • Default Image

    Bus Fare to Train Station

    Before boarding a bus, a man asked the driver, "What is the fare to the train station?"…
  • Default Image

    Grandma Thanks

    A grandmother was headed out the door to go to church one Sunday when she got a call from…
  • Default Image

    Restaurant Service

    The restaurant where I took my two sons for a meal was crowded with fans watching a…
  • Default Image

    Utensil Rejection

    My friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set…
  • Default Image

    Brotherly Chores

    Drew and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Drew,…
  • spaghetti

    Sauce Control Center

    Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she…
  • Default Image

    Returned E-mail

    The start of the new school term always brings out the most interesting questions for…
  • lawn ornaments

    Lawn Ornaments

    Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of…