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    Disguising Presents

    Three-year-old Elizabeth was helping her mother Melinda wrap a present for her father.…
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    Windy Walk

    So George goes out on a really windy night to walk over and visit his friend Sam, who is…
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    Picnic Passions

    A Jewish rabbi and a Catholic priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic. Old…
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    Locked Out

    If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one…
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    Two-Part Question

    Bob had finally made it to the last round of the $50,000 Question. The night before the…
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    12 Reasons to be Thankful You Burned the Turkey

    1. Salmonella won't be a concern. 2. Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.…
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    Baby Help

    Nancy's nephew was 4 when she was pregnant with her first kid. She allowed him to place…
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    Gift Excitement

    The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very…
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    The Same Taste

    Looking in the mall for a cotton nightgown, I tried my luck in a store known for its sexy…
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    More Cute Kids

    On vacation with her family in Montana, a mother drove her van past a church in a small…
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    Morning Kiss

    A farmer and his wife had just awakened one morning to the crowing of their rooster.…
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    Road Crew Signs

    While driving through South Carolina, I kept having to slow down for road repair crews.To…
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    Football Tryouts

    A football coach was asked how he picked a team from a bunch of raw recruits. "I hate to…
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    The Big Sale

    It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local…
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    Patient Problem

    When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his…

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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