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  • woman old

    End Nail Biting

    Two elderly women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy…
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    Mess Cake

    The Chaplain had been assigned to the ship and he noticed how much grief the cooks (Mess…
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    Three Mothers

    Three mothers are sitting on a park bench talking about (what else?) how much their sons…
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    Fast Driver

    My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we…
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    Sorting Letters

    Myrddin had gotten a part time job at the Post Office and the supervisor there had been…
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    Amazed dentist

    "Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good…
  • colors

    Colorful Grandma

    I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I…
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    Kitchen Cry

    Howard came home from work one evening and there was his wife Miriam in the kitchen…
  • A picture of the Grand Canyon

    Questions Asked at National Parks

    *Questions Asked at National Parks* *Everglades National Park:*Are the alligators…
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    Diary of A House Husband

    "Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a…
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    Instrument Test

    I'm a middle school band teacher, and I match students to instruments by testing them on…
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    Grasshopper in Bar

    A grasshopper goes into a bar and hops on to a barstool to order a drink. The bartender…
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    Surgery Beauty

    Irving was just coming out of anesthesia after a series of tests in the hospital, and his…
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    Things You Do Not Want To Hear In Surgery

    1.) Better save that.? We'll need it for the autopsy.2.) Somebody call the janitor -…
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    Funeral Music

    At our local crematorium families are given the chance to chose the music CD they would…

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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