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    Exact Address

    Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a…
  • police dog

    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
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    Real Answers

    These, are real answers given by children.Q: Name the four seasons.A: Salt, pepper,…
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    Dangerous Dog

    Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, "Danger! Beware…
  • letter-writing

    Rejected Rejection

    Re: Rejected Rejection Dear Ms. Ezell: Thank you for your letter of July 17. After…
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    Lost In The Translation

    Two diners at a very swanky eatery were shocked to see on the menu a dish of…
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    Hospital Information

    A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I…
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    The Turkey Shot Out Of The Oven

    The turkey shot out of the ovenand rocketed into the air,it knocked every plate off the…
  • Over-reacting to kidney stones

    Overreacting

    Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of…
  • judges gavel

    Duelling Judges

    Tyler and Katz, two judges, were each arrested on speeding charges. When they arrived in…
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    Kids' Instructions for Life

    Never trust a dog to watch your food. Patrick, Age 10 When you want something expensive,…
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    Elf Pet Peeves

    ~ Ever since they hit the big time, those Keebler Elves act like we don't exist.~ Santa…
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    Flight Attendant Trivia

    To pass the time while our plane was being de-iced, the flight attendants played a trivia…
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    How Can Any Student Pass?

    It's not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLY has 365 days.…
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    Wheat Exports

    Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Bill was heartened by the first question:…

cookingTongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on tables since

children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it is removed.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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