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More Jokes

  • business timing

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When…

    You've Been in Corporate America Too Long When... 1. You ask the waiter what the…
  • cow3

    Miracle Return

    The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.…
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    First Salute

    The first salute received by a freshly commissioned Second Lieutenant is always…
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    Executive Approval

    For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a busy company.…
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    Dad Knew

    My dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage.He told me that he knew…
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    Young Guy's "BG"

    At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and…
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    Little Benny

    Little Benny came home from his first day of school and said, "Mommy, the teacher was…
  • Mother's Day photo frame

    What Mom's Really Want

    Top 10 List of what Moms REALLY want...* 10. To be able to eat a whole candy bar (alone)…
  • dog2

    How Much Are Your Dogs

    If you are not sure what a Goober is, there is a picture of one here. It seems this…
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    Calories That Don't Count

    Dieting is a lot easier when you factor in recently determined calorie counting…
  • speech

    Cub Reporter Miss

    Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of…
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    "Dilbert Quote" Contest

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to…
  • lemon

    Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car

    *Top Ten Signs You've Bought a Lemon of a Car* 10. Your tinted windows are also known as…
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    Giuseppe Spomdalucci

    To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After…
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    Thoughts on Golfing

    A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can…

*Cooking Terms*

Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned not only when the food is removed, but when it is put in.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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