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More Jokes

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    Romantic Switch

    Although he had packed his bag for a business trip the night before, my husband planned…
  • couple old

    Old Friends

    Amy and Judy are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long…
  • preacher2

    Hurry Home

    It has to be confessed that the minister was rather long-winded. During his sermon a…
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    Cow Help

    A man was driving down a country road in the middle of dairy farm country when his car…
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    Top 10 Holiday Gift Things To Say

    Top 10 things to say about a holiday gift you don't like: 10) Hey! There's a gift. 9.)…
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    Hiccup Cure

    A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something to cure…
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    Dentist Bill

    A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. "I'm shocked!" she complained.…
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    College Nerves

    While touring the University with some college-bound friends, I saw an advertisement that…
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    Scared vs. Apprehension

    As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in several night-time exercises. Once,…
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    Poor Preacher

    After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give…
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    Time To Go

    The pastor was known for the clarity and brevity of his sermons. His talks were well…
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    Military Wisdom

    *Military Wisdom*"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you…
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    Blessed Again

    A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say grace when he opened the…
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    Happy Birthday Grandpa

    My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I…

*Cooking Terms*

Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned not only when the food is removed, but when it is put in.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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