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More Jokes

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    Losing New Balls

    Morris had been playing golf for years. He always used the very finest equipment, but his…
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    Shoebox Dolls

    A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They…
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    Flu Prayer

    A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to…
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    Narrow Escape Responses

    There was an engineer, manager, and a programmer driving down a steep mountain road. The…
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    Get Better Soon

    A retired man who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to…
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    What is This?

    A Rabbi, a Priest and a Salvation Army pastor walk into a bar.The bartender says to them,…
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    Plus or Minus One

    In a contest in The Washington Post, readers were asked to take an expression using a…
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    Ooops in the Forest

    Two hikers were walking through some foothills when they came upon a 6 foot wide hole in…
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    Actual Warnings On Products

    *Actual Warnings On Products* On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.…
  • Picture of a car alarm remote

    Parenting Idea

    I was with a friend in a cafe' when a noisy car alarm interrupted our conversation. "What…
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    Letter Order

    Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Txes M&A Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the…
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    Late For Church

    A young girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could to Sunday…
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    Goober Eye Pain

    A goober went to the doctor complaining, "Doctor every time I drink tea my eye…
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    Cleaning Job

    Fresh out of high school, I found a job cleaning the elegant home of an older couple.…
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    Grandfather Putt

    Playing golf with his buddies, my grandfather had to make a slick 45-foot, downhill putt.…

*Cooking Terms*

Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a piece of dead cow.

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two are goulash and squid.

Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.

Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American tables since children were granted the right to sue their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."

Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may be burned not only when the food is removed, but when it is put in.

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately destroy any food placed within the cooking compartment.

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

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