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Corporate America in the 90's

You know you work in Corporate America in the 90's if:

- You've sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.

- You learn about your layoff on CNN.

- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.

- Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.

- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.

- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.

- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive.

- It's dark when you drive to and from work.

- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else.

- Communication is something your group is having problems with.

- You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.

- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple.

- Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.

- Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital.

- Art involves a white board.

- You're already late on the assignment you just got.

- When 100% of your time means 20 hours.

- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"

- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.

- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes." "in your spare time," "when you're freed up," and "I have an opportunity for you."

- Vacation is something you roll over to next year or a check you get every January.

- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."

- Change is the norm.

- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube.

- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.

- You read this entire list and understood it.

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