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    Five Things You Do Not Want to Hear when Calling Tech Support

    1. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"2. In layman's term, we call that the "Hindenburg Effect."3. "Your…
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    Forbidden Words

    An English professor announced to the class, "There are two words I don't allow in my…
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    Goodbye From George

    George had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out his Last Will and…
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    Free to Go

    Jon and Amanpreet were in an institution. This place had an annual contest where they…
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    Morning Sickness

    Sarah dropped in on her sister Molly and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring…
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    Politically Correct Light Bulb

    "How many politically-correct people does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" "Look, I…
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    Pickup Backfire

    Weary of constantly picking clothes up from the floor of her son's room, a mother finally…
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    Priest Twin

    Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for…
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    Bigger Piece

    One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took…
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    Plane Pontoons

    Tiring of the inconvenience of the drive from airport to country cottage, a man equipped…
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    Pearl Dream

    After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl…
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    Found Money

    An elderly married couple who were childhood sweethearts and had settled down in their…
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    Bathroom Instructions

    On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the…
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    The Politician Dance

    There was a dance teacher who talked of a very old dance called the Politician. "All you…
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    Perspective

    An English professor wrote the words, "a woman without her man is nothing" on the…
A fellow cop from our precinct had only a few months left on the job, and he could always be heard ticking off the weeks, days, hours, and minutes.

Our chief was not amused. "I've been on the job for 43 years, and I've never counted off the days until I'm outta here," he said to me.

I couldn't help agreeing with him. "That's because everyone else is counting for you."
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