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    Honeymoon Toast

    One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she…
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    Top Ten Best Golf Caddie Remarks

    #10 Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep…
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    Top Ten Signs You Might Have a Bad Furnace Repair Guy

    10. His face permanently blackened like a cartoon bomb went off 9. Pushes his personal…
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    Mental Test

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    Typo Apology

    "We apologize for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme…
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    Things Not To Say or Do at a Job Interview

    ** See photo of interviewer's family on desk, point, start laughing uncontrollably.** Ask…
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    Three Important Words

    At my granddaughter's wedding, the DJ polled the guests to see who had been married…
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    Newlywed Grace

    A recently married man was walking with his father one day and said: "My new wife's…
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    Police Dog Freeze

    A friend of mine is a deputy with the sheriff's department canine unit. One evening, the…
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    Favorite Candy

    Our phone rang late one night, and my wife Nancy picked it up. She said, "KitKat," and…
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    The Power of Government

    Pythagorean theorem : 24 WordsThe Lord's Prayer : 66 WordsArchimedes' Principle : 67…
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    Disguising Presents

    Three-year-old Elizabeth was helping her mother Melinda wrap a present for her father.…
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    Zoo Thank You

    As a volunteer who conducts educational tours of the Zoo, Sally occasionally receives…
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    Do Something Nice

    Unable to attend the funeral after his Uncle Charlie died, a man who lived far away…
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    Older Parents

    We had our ten-year-old daughter late in life, long after our two boys were born. She is…

"Mister, why doesn't this cow have any horns?" asked the young lady from a nearby city on field trip to the country.

The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep 'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. Other times we can fix up the young 'uns by puttin' a couple drops of acid where their horns would grow in, and that stops 'em cold. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse."

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